Monday, 10 December 2018


It's time for the penultimate part of "AJ & Noah". Much like the last part, I won't say too much for fear of giving anything away.

Just a reminder that I'm doing a top 20 bodybuilders of 2018 list on my Twitter page throughout the month. Here's how the list is looking so far...

#20. Brad Rowe
#19. Adolf Burkhard
#18. Elliot Dermond
#17. Derek Lunsford
#16. Igor Illes
#15. Steve Kuclo

Final part of the story coming very soon!

Thirty Six

I put the key in my front door, praying that my mum wouldn’t catch me coming back home. Because I’m pretty sure she’d be able to tell that I’d been crying. And she’d definitely know that something was wrong. The coast was clear. But as I rushed up the stairs to my room, my mum came out of the kitchen and started saying something to me. I ignored her, shut my bedroom door, threw my switched off phone on the bed settee in the corner of my room that me and AJ used to sleep on during our sleepovers when we were younger and collapsed onto my bed.

I was no longer angry. All I could feel was like this incredible sadness. It was like a huge black veil had been draped over my world. Curled up facing my wall, I could barely move my head, let alone lift it from the pillow. I felt like I was lying at the bottom of this huge pit, and I had no desire or energy to try and claw my way out. I just wanted to stay there lying in the darkness.

Not long after lying down I fell asleep. It was the sound of Little Cat crying at my door that eventually woke me up. I let her in and she pounced on my bed, meowing and rubbing up against my legs and eventually curling into me. I had no idea what the time was or how long I’d been asleep for. I didn’t really care.

I wondered if AJ had tried to call me again. Or had left me any messages. I was almost scared at the prospect of switching my phone back on to see. I just wanted to block everything out. Put everything on pause for a while. But I knew that was impossible, because all of these thoughts were running through my head, and they wouldn’t stop.

I kept thinking about AJ with Dale, the beautiful, olive skinned muscle guy he’d been with the night before. How Dale had tracked AJ down on Facebook and arranged to come up and go out with him in town while I’d been on my work experience placement in London.

What had they talked about on Facebook? Had they spoken about me? And what exactly had they done on that night out? Had AJ been comparing Dale to me? Comparing what our bodies looked liked naked? Had Dale done things to AJ that I hadn’t? Made AJ feel a way I couldn’t?

Even though I hated Dale for what he’d done, on some twisted, fucked up level, I couldn’t really blame him for wanting to track AJ down. It wasn’t every day that a ridiculously gorgeous, junior competitive bodybuilder strolled into a gay pub, bronzed up and bulging out of his tight, white t-shirt.

Dale, and the two other muscle guys he was with had probably almost fainted when they’d first spotted him. The other two had even tried to entice us back to theirs. Mr Olive Skin had probably had a flash of inspiration when he’d gotten home, jumped on his laptop and found AJ on Facebook. The profile picture of him flexing out a most muscular with his mouth open, shredded and bronzed on stage, sticking out from all of the other AJ’s that had popped up in the search results.

And as much as I hated Dale, for being rude to me in the pub, for tracking AJ down online, for presumably lying about visiting friends in town, just so he could see AJ again, and telling him that shagging him behind his boyfriend’s back was “no big deal” because, apparently, that’s what gay guys do, like a sneaky fucking cunt, I knew that if it hadn’t been him, it would have been someone else.

Some other hot muscle guy eager to snap AJ up and steal him away from me, just like I’d predicted would happen the night we were out in London. I just never imagined it would happen this soon. And this easily. While AJ was still very much living in Little Denton. One fucking trip to one gay pub in London and our relationship was fucked.

I kept thinking about what AJ had said about whatever had happened between the two of them. That he was drunk. That it was “barely anything“. That it hadn’t changed the way he felt about me. I kept thinking about how scared and sorry he’d looked. And maybe he regretted what he’d done with Dale? Maybe it was just nothing more than sex? From the way AJ spoke, I got the feeling that that was the case.

But if Dale hadn’t made him feel anything, what about the next beautiful muscle guy who pursued and enticed AJ? Or the next guy after that? How long would it take for AJ to fall for someone else the way he’d fallen for me? Someone who was more suited to AJ than I was? A beautiful, A-List gay with a perfect muscle body, and an amazing personality to match. Maybe AJ and I were just never going to last that long? Maybe someone like me could never really be with someone like AJ Jones? Maybe the universe just wouldn’t allow it?

But above all else, what hurt the most, was not what would happen, but what AJ had already done with Dale. I still wasn’t sure whether AJ was in love with me. I knew his feelings went way beyond anything he’d known. He’d told me that. I remembered his text to Naomi. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. And yet, he’d still gone behind my back and met Dale. Even if he hadn't planned to do anything, which I’m not sure I entirely believe, he’d still lied to me about who he was going out with. He clearly knew on some level that what he was doing wasn’t right.

Maybe there was a deeper reason why AJ had done it? Maybe he was scared of his feelings for me? Maybe I’d been too full on the weekend before, worrying about what was going to happen in the future and when I’d gone back to university? Maybe AJ had subconsciously wanted to fuck things up because it was just easier that way? Or maybe he also knew that, deep down, someone like him wasn’t supposed to be with someone like me?

A gentle knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. “Noah?” Fuck. My mum cautiously opened the door. “What are you doing?” she asked, gently.

“I just fell asleep!” I said, irritably.

“Is everything alright?”

“YES!” I snapped.

My mum wasn’t stupid. I was lying on my bed with the light switched off. Of course everything wasn’t alright. I expected her to leave the room, but she wasn’t moving. She was just hovering over the bed looking at me.

“What?!” I said, lifting my head off the pillow again and looking at her.

“Do you think I don’t know my own son?” she said, calmly.

And then she did something I didn’t expect. She put her hand on my leg and for some reason, my eyes watered instantly. I covered my face straight away and did everything I could to hold it in. I couldn’t stand the thought of my mum seeing me cry. I didn’t know why. I think that I wanted my mum to think I was this super strong person. Maybe then she wouldn’t worry about me so much when I wasn’t safe in my bedroom in Little Denton? Because as much as parents want to protect you, they can’t protect you from everything. It’s impossible. They can’t prevent you from meeting people who will hurt you, whether intentionally or not. And they definitely can’t stop you from having your heart broken.

“I don’t know why you always keep things from me, Noah!” she said, sitting down on the bed next to my legs.

I groaned, and took my hands away. I knew my face was a bit blotchy, but at least I’d managed to keep most of the tears in. “Because … your my mum! It’s weird talking to you about certain stuff!”

“Well you don’t have to tell me all the gory details!”

I rolled my eyes. “What do you wanna know?”

She still look concerned, but her face had softened. I could tell she was excited about what was unfolding. “Have you got a boyfriend?” she asked, with a little smile.

“Ugh!” I rolled my eyes. “Sort of!” I honestly didn’t know whether I still had a boyfriend or not.

Her next question surprised me. “Has he done something to upset you?”

“Yep!” I said, a little frostily.

“Is it worth arguing over?”

“YES!” I said, defiantly.

“Fancy spag bol for tea?” she said. Apparently she’d found out everything she’d wanted.

“Go on then!” I said.

She stood up from the bed, and Little Cat lifted her head up and jumped off to follow her. “Try not to wallow too much!” she said, in a light tone.

My mum clearly didn’t understand the scale of what had happened, but that comment still made me smile a little. In fact, I was feeling considerably better than I had done after the chat with my mum.

Before she walked out of the room, she paused to ask me one more question. “This boyfriend. It’s AJ isn’t it?”

I lay my head back on the pillow. I was suddenly too embarrassed to look at her. I didn’t say anything. “I’m gonna take that as a yes!” she said. And just before she walked out, I glanced over and caught her face, which was suddenly wearing this pleased grin. I could barely believe it. I was convinced that my mum hadn’t suspected that something was going on between me and AJ. Clearly I’d been wrong.

I decided I couldn’t ignore reality for much longer. My stomach clenched tightly as I switched on my phone. It was funny though. I’d been okay with ignoring AJ, but as my phone loaded up, I was suddenly really anxious to find out whether he’d tried to get in touch. As suspected, he had. In fact, he’d sent a series of texts, dating back to two hours before. Right around the time I’d left his house.

“Noah come back.”

“I’m sorry! Please talk to me!”

“Just let me know you’re OK.”

UGH! I threw my phone on the bed in anger. Of fucking course I’m not OK, I thought. I decided that I wasn’t going to let him know anything. He could just sit there and fucking squirm.

Ignoring AJ was surprisingly easy, even when he text me the next day to ask if we could talk. I even took a little comfort in knowing that I hadn’t done anything wrong. Knowing it was all him. AJ was the one in the wrong. He was the one who’d fucked up. Even though it hurt like hell. Even though I felt like I’d never be happy again.

There were moments over the next few days when I questioned what I was doing. Brief occasions where doubt set in and I wondered if there was just the slightest possibility that I was overreacting. I mean, I got it. A lot of gay couples do mess about with other guys. And it’s no big deal as far as they’re concerned.

And if they’ve chosen to do that, and both parties are happy with the arrangement, then that’s great for them. But for me, I wasn’t sure such a thing would work. I was in love with AJ, so why would I want to be with anyone else? How could the rush of any quick blow job with a random guy in the toilets of a club compare to having sex with the man I knew and loved and worshipped?

“Oooh, he’s finally come out of his room!” my mum said one afternoon as I was getting a drink from the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and said nothing. I really wasn’t in the mood.

“Can I just ask you a question?” she asked, cautiously.


“What?” I replied.

“Whatever AJ has done, is it worse than what that Reece Miller did to you at school?”

I scoffed. “YES!”

She narrowed her eyes. “Hmmm. Well did AJ say he was sorry?”

I looked at her in confusion. “Yeah?!” I replied, like that would make any difference.

“Well, that’s something!” she said.

What a stupid comment to make. Whether he was sorry or not was completely beside the point. An apology didn’t excuse what he’d done.

“I’m just saying,” my mum began. “That Reece Miller never apologised for telling everyone at school that you were gay, did he?”

I could sort of see her point. Reece, who was supposed to be my best friend, fucked me over and felt no remorse. But I’d always kind of known that he was a prick anyway. AJ on the other hand. He was sweet and good hearted and genuinely cared about me. He’d done one bad thing and was sorry for it. To be honest, though, I wasn’t really sure what was worse.

Over the following days I continued to ignore AJ. I was still so hurt by what he’d done, but as more time passed, I began to miss him. I kept thinking about everything that had happened over the previous few months. Even right up to a week and a half earlier when we’d been in London together. That amazing weekend in London.

I started to miss being cuddled up to him on his bed. I started to miss our cute, funny Facebook messages. Joking with him about me being a future shredded muscle freak. I started to miss being sat next to him in his car. I started to miss kissing him, the way he made me feel and the person I was when I was with him. Possibly the best version of myself there’s ever been.

I started wondering how he’d been doing. Imagining his mates at Scorpio’s and his concerned work colleagues at Tesco asking him if he was okay, because he didn’t seem like his usual self. I pictured him lying on his bed feeling down about what had happened. Regretting what he’d done and feeling awful that he’d hurt me. Wondering if and when I was going to reply to his texts.

And what if all this was just pushing him away? Surely there would be a point where AJ would give up? Where his pride would get the better of him and he’d stop trying to get in contact with me. God, maybe he’d even start texting Dale? Maybe he was doing that already?

I thought about the conversation I’d had with him in the hotel room in London about giving up on him too easily when we’d stopped being friends all those years ago. Was that what I was doing now?

There was one thing that I knew I could do to try and attempt to make myself feel better. One thing that had happened over the summer that I could try and put right. So one afternoon, while still ignoring AJ, I sat on my bed, picked up my phone and scrolled to a contact I hadn’t used for a while. Someone who I’d actively, and wrongly, been ignoring for weeks, and composed a text.

“Hey Eddie. I hope you’re okay. I know I haven’t been in touch for a while and I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for that. You are such a great guy and we had some really fun nights together but if I’m being completely honest, I met someone else. I didn’t expect it to happen. And it took me by complete surprise. I guess it was just easier to ignore you, which I know was really wrong and (again) I really am sorry for that. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me again, but I thought you deserved an explanation. x”

As soon I pressed send, this huge wave of relief washed over me. I knew I’d done Eddie wrong, but maybe this would help to make up for it? Or at least make him think that I was a little less of a dick than he probably already did. I kind of had a feeling that Eddie would reply to my text. I wasn’t wrong. Not five minutes after I’d text him, his response came through.

“Hey Noah. Wow. Good to hear from you. Well I won’t lie, I was pretty gutted when I didn’t hear back from you, but hey, these things happen and I guess we didn’t know each other for that long. But I think you’re a great guy too, and I’m not really surprised that you met someone. I mean, you’re so fucking sweet and endearing. (And handsome too - obviously!) Whoever he is, he’s a lucky guy. I guess you’ll be going back to uni soon, but maybe we can still be friends? x”

I felt a huge wave of warmth as I looked at Eddie’s text. He really was a great guy. And even though being friends with him seemed like a really nice idea, I had a feeling that that wasn’t going to happen. That once I’d gone back to university, we’d lose touch. Still, I did what was expected and replied to Eddie, thanking him for being so understanding and telling him that I’d really like for us to still be friends. But before I finished composing the reply, Eddie sent though another text, which completely surprised me.

“Hey again. Can I just ask? The guy you’re seeing. Is it your hot bodybuilder friend AJ?”

Fuck. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t help but smile at Eddie’s text. At the cute way he’d described AJ, and also the fact that, just like my mother, Eddie had clearly been able to tell that something had been going on with us. The whole thing also gave me an unexpected buzz, while also making me think, once again, about the boy I’d spent the summer falling in love with.

It was the sound of something outside my house that initially woke me up that night. Half asleep, and unsure of whether I was dreaming, I ignored it. But then the light from my phone screen lighting up fully woke me up. It was two am and AJ was calling me. No doubt probably drunk. I won’t lie, there was a part of me that felt excited about the fact that he was calling. Just seeing his name on my phone made my insides flutter.

He hung up, and I put my phone back down beside me. And then it lit up again. AJ had sent me a text message. Two simple words which made my whole body jolt. I was panicked. Surprised. But also kind of excited too.

“I’m outside.”

What. The. FUCK?!

And then I heard something hit my bedroom window. And then again. What the fuck was AJ doing? Was he throwing stones at my window? I lay dead still for a moment, my heart thumping.

And then I suddenly heard my parents stirring from the next room and my dad’s voice and fuck, a panic shot through me.

I thought about quickly texting AJ to warn him. I guess my pride was very much still in tact at that point, though, because I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I heard my parents frantically climbing down the stairs. Shocked and nervous at what was unfolding, I sprung up in bed, and tried to listen to what was happening. I heard my dad confronting AJ and being stern with him. I heard AJ desperately saying “I want to see Noah!” I hated how upset he sounded. I felt like crying. I had never wanted to hear or see AJ upset. I had never wanted anything bad to happen to him ever.

A part of me judged him for the incident. It was such a reckless thing to do. Coming to my house drunk, throwing stones at my fucking window. But at the same time, I don’t know, there was a part of me that liked it. It was crazy and irresponsible. And so dramatic. But it also felt oddly romantic. Him being so out of his mind and desperate to see me that he came to my house in the middle of the night. It was a like a scene from a film.

He text me the next morning.

“Hey. I’m so sorry about last night. I was drunk and I just wanted to see you. I understand if you don’t want to see or talk to me but I fly out to Ibiza tomorrow. I’ll be at home pretty much all day if you want to come round and talk. Tell your parents I’m sorry.”

I looked at the text on my phone, and something finally broke inside me. I was ready to talk to AJ again.

Thirty Seven

I’d never seen AJ looking so nervous than when he opened the door to me in his bright red Scorpio’s Gym hoodie. Not even the first time I ever saw him standing in the playground on his first day at my school. I was still angry at him. And definitely hurt. But I couldn’t deny that seeing him again, for the first time in over a week, made my insides flutter. Despite what AJ had done, he still gave me those fuck off massive butterflies.

But even though he looked nervous, I very much got the impression that AJ was pleased to see me too. He was covered up, but I could tell from his face and his hands that the bronzed competition tan from almost two weeks had all but faded. His hair was starting to grow back too. As sexy as his shaved head was, I couldn’t deny that I missed his old haircut.

This horrible, sick feeling churned in my stomach as soon as I walked into AJ’s bedroom. I knew why. I was remembering what had happened the last time I’d been in this very room. I had always loved being in AJ’s bedroom so much. In fact, upon until a week before, it was probably my favourite place in the world. A place I felt safe, even. A place where I could be the boy I loved exactly the way I wanted to be. To kiss him and touch him and do all the things I wanted to show him what he meant to me. But now that place was tainted. Like someone had taken a knife to something I loved and etched a big scar right across it.

“Are your parents really mad about last night?” AJ asked, as we sat on his bed. My stomach was tightening in knots through nerves.

I gave a little shrug. “My mum seemed okay this morning. She just sort of gave me this disapproving face. She knows about us by the way.”

“Really?” AJ asked. He looked surprised, but not worried like I imagined he would have. He even looked a little pleased.

I nodded. “Nothing gets passed my mum!”

AJ’s face softened and he smiled a little.

“How you been doin’?” he asked, suddenly looking nervous again.

I shrugged. “Pretty shit!” I said honestly.

AJ looked at me with these sad eyes. “I kept thinking I was gonna see you at the leisure centre. Well, more like hoping!”

He looked at me with this hopeful, almost desperate look. I melted. Just a little. Then there was silence and everything suddenly felt tense again. I knew this was my chance to get some answers.

I looked down at my hands. “So why did you do it?” I asked, calmly but solemnly. I only looked up at him once I’d asked the question.

AJ made a little painful groan and pressed his fingers into his forehead. Like he was beating himself up. “I don’t know,” he said.

“That’s a shit answer!” I said, still calmly.

He sighed. “It just sort of happened,” he said, chewing his bottom lip and looking at me with that desperate look again.

Ugh! I could feel myself getting angry again. Just thinking about AJ with Dale. Beautiful, olive skinned, built like a brick shithouse Dale. But I needed to know more. My mind wouldn’t rest until I did.

“Did he come on to you?” I said, less calmly.

AJ nodded. “Back at his mates house after the club.”

And there it was again. That sick feeling churning in my stomach. “Why did you even go back?” I asked.

AJ shrugged. “Well, he lived in town. It was cheaper and easier than getting a taxi home, I guess.”

“Did you want something to happen?” I asked, suddenly feeling like I might start to cry.

“No!” AJ said, defiantly. “I mean I could sort of tell he fancied me. I mean, I think most of his friends did. But he knew I had a boyfriend. Then his mate went to bed and we were sitting on his settee, and that’s when he came on to me. He took me by surprise. That’s when he told me that it was different for gay guys. That lots of couples in relationships mess about with other guys. So I went along with it, but not for long. I freaked out and told him to stop.”

I hated the images that were going through my mind. Of AJ being out with Dale and his mates and all of them fawning over him. Of them going back to someone’s place. Of the two of them sitting on his friend’s settee, Dale coming on to him and AJ going along with it. Of them kissing. AJ kissing another guy. And things developing. Dale’s hand being on AJ’s leg. AJ wrapping his arm around Dale’s waist. The two of them touching. Dale sliding off the couch and kneeling down as he undid AJ’s belt buckle. Fuck. I decided in that moment that I didn’t need to know any more details of what had happened between them. It would do nothing but torture me.

Knowing AJ had freaked out and asked Dale to stop whatever he was doing though was, at least, one small comfort. That was if AJ was telling the truth, of course. I’d never had any reason not to believe him before I read that text message from Dale that day. I wanted to believe that AJ wouldn’t lie to me. But I couldn’t really say that I was certain he wouldn’t.

I looked away from AJ to his bedroom wall. The picture of Blaine Holton, jacked and huge in competition condition while squeezing out a most muscular pose staring back at me. For some reason, I was finding it hard to look at AJ in that moment. Perhaps it was because I now had an image of him and Mr Olive Skin kissing and fooling around with each other on some settee in a flat in town implanted in my brain. AJ had told him to stop. But he had still done it. Whether he was drunk or not. He’d still wanted to mess about with that beautiful muscle guy. He’d still wanted to be with someone who wasn’t me.

“There’s one thing I don’t get though,” I said, still looking at Blaine Holton rather than AJ. “You said you didn’t plan to do anything, but you still lied to me about where you were going that night!” I said. I finally looked at AJ. His face just as fucking gorgeous as ever. He didn’t look so nervous anymore, but he still looked distressed.

He sighed. “The thing is, Noah. This whole gay thing. It’s so new to me. And every time you’ve taken me to a gay place, it’s been so much fun. I mean, that night we were out in London. All the attention I was getting. And then those guys coming up to us. I loved it! And I know they were only talking to me because of the way I looked. But it was still fun!” he explained, shrugging.

“So when Dale asked me if I wanted to go out in town, I thought, “Yeah, I really wanna go!” It felt exciting. I mean, when you first started going out on the gay scene, seeing guys, having boyfriends, whatever … didn’t you find it really exciting?”

“Mmmm. Yeah, actually!” I replied honestly. And I really had. Suddenly, what AJ was saying was starting to make sense. I hadn’t considered any of this.

“And I knew you wouldn’t have liked it if I told you what I was doing. I knew you’d be funny with me. Like you were funny with me that night in London. And I suppose you could have come with me. But … I dunno. I mean, what we have. It’s so fucking amazing. And so special …”

Fuck! I was starting to melt again.

“But I think I liked the fact that this felt separate to that? Going out to gay places. Making new friends. And you didn’t exactly look comfortable with Dale and his mates that night. I mean, you said he was a dick to you!”

I scoffed. Even though what AJ was saying was making sense. Even though I was completely getting it.

“And it really wasn’t about Dale! I mean, I probably would have gone out with anyone who asked me. You know me, I’ll talk to anyone. Especially when I’m drunk!”

“I get what you’re saying!” I said, nodding.

“I was actually kinda hoping to run into that really camp guy who asked to feel my biceps in the toilet that night! He seemed really fun!” he said.

I felt myself softening. AJ’s mouth started to curl into a little grin. “I was maybe gonna squeeze a most muscular in his face. Just to see his reaction!”

And that was it. I felt my mouth curling into a smile and I gently shook my head at him. I hated that AJ was making smile. But I also kind of loved it.

“Oh, and I actually think you were right about Dale!” he said.

I felt a sharp twist at the mention of that name, but I was excited to see where AJ was heading. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“I think he is a bit of a prick!”

My heart fluttered. I furrowed my eyebrows at AJ, curious as to why he’d come to that conclusion, and also a little suspicious that maybe he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear.

“I mean, he was alright at first. But then he made some comments about some of the people in the pub. Like, really mean things about the way they looked.”

Ugh! I scoffed. “Sounds about right!” I said.

“And he was just so … arrogant!

“Well, I could have told you that!” I said to him, feeling myself starting to smile again.

“I’ve known less arrogant bodybuilders giving it attitude on stage! Even Blaine Holton’s not that arrogant! And he’s about three times as big. And twice as hot!”

I smirked, but something twisted in my stomach. So he had thought Dale was hot? And then I remembered that when I’d first spotted him, before he’d been a prick to me, before he messed about with my fucking boyfriend, I had thought he was hot too. Whether he was a prick or not, he was a beautiful man. Ugh. I hated that. I wanted to live in a world where good hearted people were beautiful and dicks like Dale were butt fucking ugly.

“He’s been texting me too!” AJ said.

Fuck. I felt myself tensing up again. That was something I did not want to hear. I shook my head gently and turned my head away from AJ again.

“I’ve ignored every single one. I think he’s got the message.”

And then I softened, while thinking, Ha! Fuck you, Dale, you fucking prick. I cautiously looked back at AJ, who was biting his bottom lip and looking at me with this hopeful expression. Like he wanted me to just give in and say that all was forgiven.

“But you still messed about with him!” I said, calmly.

“I know!” he groaned. And he suddenly looked sad again.

Something came to me in that moment. What AJ had said about the whole gay thing being new and exciting to him, maybe that wasn’t just limited to going out on the gay scene? Maybe having sex with other guys was as equally exciting to AJ? After all, I was only the second guy he’d ever been with. Maybe that was the real reason he’d messed about with Dale?

“So is that what you want?” I asked AJ, cautiously.

“What?” he asked me, clearly confused.

I shrugged. “To mess about with other guys. An open relationship type of thing?” I said, looking down at my hands.

“NO!” he said, earnestly. “I don’t!”

I looked up at AJ. He looked so sincere. I was softening again. Here’s the thing. I did believe him. But I wasn’t quite convinced that what happened that night wouldn’t happen again. One night when I was back at uni, completely unaware that AJ was meeting some guy off the Internet, maybe an Eddie type, just as a friend, but getting a bit tipsy and something happening between them.

“I really wanna touch you, but the last time I did that you almost kicked me in the face!” AJ said, playfully.

And that really made me smile. There was no hiding it, either. I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling, annoyed with myself that he was making me laugh.

“Don’t mess with Noah Cook!” he said, cheekily. He shuffled his foot along the bed to mine and wrapped his toes over mine and fuck, I melted. I tilted my head back against the bedroom wall, giving in, letting AJ touch me.

“Are we okay?” he asked. I closed my eyes. I wanted to forgive AJ. So much. But everything still hurt so badly.

I looked at him. He was looking at me with these pleading eyes. And then something happened which I hadn’t expected. He shut his eyes tightly and screwed up his face and whimpered. AJ was starting to cry, and desperately trying to hold it back. Fuck. And seeing AJ hurt, I suddenly wanted to cry too. I hated seeing him upset.

I didn’t even think about what I did next. I shuffled over to him and placed my arm around his shoulders and AJ wrapped his arm around my waist and buried his head into my chest, letting out a few whimpers, still trying to hold it back.

I squeezed him tightly and buried my face into the top of his head. It felt like ages since I’d touched him in that way. Even though it had been less than a week. In spite of what he’d done and how he’d hurt me, I just wanted to protect and comfort him in that moment. As a boyfriend. As a friend. As someone who just cared about him.

“I hate that I hurt you!” he said to me, his face still buried in my chest. “I’ve been going crazy!”

While I’d been feeling heartbroken that week, AJ had clearly been going through his own type of personal hell. I realised something in that moment, as I gripped onto AJ tightly. Something I think I’d always known. That, ironically, despite having more than a few extra pounds of muscle than me, despite being physically stronger and bigger than me, and the majority of twenty year olds for that matter, emotionally, I was the stronger one out of the two of us. I think I always had been.

We stayed like that for a little while. Just holding each other on his bed and not talking. We didn’t say much else for the remainder of the time I was there.

“Did you get your suit sorted for the wedding?” I asked AJ, as I stood in his hallway next to the front door.

He groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yes! That was a fucking nightmare! It’s way too long in the arms.”

I smiled at him gently. “Shouldn’t be such a monster then!” I joked. AJ gave me a warm grin but his eyes were still sad. I wondered whether he was going to try and kiss me before I left, but he didn’t. We just gave each other a prolonged hug at the door and I told him I’d see him when he got back from Ibiza.

It almost felt like a relief when AJ was on holiday. Knowing that things were on a temporary pause. I didn’t contact him and he didn’t contact me. Neither did I expect him to. It still hurt me. What had happened. What he’d done. But what AJ had said in his bedroom that day had made so much sense. About going out with Dale because the gay scene was new and exciting. And even though I had had my doubts at the time, in retrospect, I believed what he’d said about not planning to mess about with Dale. About him coming on to AJ and him freaking out about it and asking Dale to stop. I knew he was telling the truth. And even though it still killed me, even though I hated the fact that he’d done something with another guy, I hoped that I would be able to forgive him. Even though it would probably take a little time.

I had thought about the day that AJ got back from his holiday in Ibiza weeks before it had happened. When everything was still so good between AJ and I. I’d imagined how happy I would feel on that day. How much I would have missed him. And how excited I would be at the prospect of seeing him again after a week apart from each other.

When that day actually arrived, I felt none of those things. Instead, I felt nervous. Anxious, even. Because AJ being back in Little Denton meant having to face up to the reality of what was going to happen next between us. Having to find out whether we could make things work.

After what had happened over the previous few weeks, it was hard to know whether it was my turn to make the first move, or AJ’s. I kept wondering whether I should text him, while wondering whether he’d text me. By the end of the day, none of those things happened.

By the end of the second day, when I’d still not heard from AJ, I was starting to get this horrible feeling that something wasn’t right. So I composed a text. “Hey. How was the holiday?” I hovered my finger over the send button, wondering whether I should press it. Fuck it, I thought. And the text was sent.

Nothing came back. Not half an hour later. Not an hour later. Not even a day later. And that awful, sick feeling in my stomach only got worse. It was funny, because I had been fine before I had sent that text message (I guess that’s called having your head in the sand). But once I’d reached out to AJ and he wasn’t responding, suddenly I was incredibly anxious and eager to hear from him.

I text him again the next day, asking if everything was okay. When nothing came back then, either, it was abundantly clear what was going on. AJ was ignoring me.

I couldn’t believe it. After everything that had happened. After he’d messed about with that prick. Lied to me. Hurt me. After he’d spent a week desperately trying to get in touch with me. Coming to my house in the middle of the fucking night. After he’d explained everything to me in his bedroom and tried to get me to forgive him. Cried in front of me. After I’d held him in my arms, he was now doing this. Just ignoring me. Not facing up to me, or his feelings. Like an absolute fucking coward.

What had changed since I’d left his house the week before? Was it because he’d cried in front of me? Or it some kind of payback for me ignoring him that week? Was it just one huge pride thing? Or had something happened in Ibiza? Had he messed about another beautiful muscle guy? God, with another girl, even? Had he realised the past few months with me had just been one massive mistake and he no longer wanted to be with me, or any other guy for that matter? Or had he just come to the conclusion that me and him just weren’t meant to be? Still, whatever it was, I deserved to know. It was completely unfair for him to do this to me.

Something inside of me snapped. I gave AJ one more day to respond to me. When nothing came back, I sent him another text.

“AJ. What’s going on? I’m not playing this stupid fucking game with you. I’m coming round to see you.”

It was time for me to take action again, just as I’d done that day in AJ’s bedroom when I’d confronted him about his drunken messages after that night out with Naomi and Eddie, where he’d all but confessed he had feelings for me.

I had no idea whether AJ would be in, but when his house was in sight and I saw that his car was missing, I got my answer. His mum’s car was in the drive though. I had to see her, so that AJ knew my text had not just been an empty threat. So that he knew I wasn’t going to let him get away with treating me this way.

I was nervous when I rang the doorbell and my heart was racing, but something was overriding those nerves. It wasn’t so much anger. More just sheer determination.

His mum answered the door. “Oh, hello, Noah!” She was smiling at me, but she looked a little weirded out. She could obviously sense that something wasn’t right. Suddenly the nerves had taken over my determination. “Is AJ home?” I asked, meekly.

“He’s at the gym, love,” Mrs Jones informed me, looking at me with this confused and concerned expression.

AJ probably hadn’t even seen my text. “Oh.” I suddenly felt really awkward. “I’ll just text him later!” I said, suddenly desperate to get away.

“I’ll tell him you came by,” she said. “Bye, Noah.” She gave me one of her warm smiles. This one didn’t fill up quite as much of her face as it normally did, though.

I walked away from AJ’s house. I probably should have felt deflated. But I didn’t. Somehow, I knew I’d done enough.

It was about an hour later, when I was sitting on my bed at home, that AJ Jones finally text me back.

“I’m sorry, Noah. I can’t do this anymore. I had a lot of time to think in Ibiza. I hate that I hurt you so much. I know I fucked up. I could tell from last week when you came round that things weren’t going to be the same with us. I think it’s better in the long run if we just end things now. It probably wouldn’t have worked with you being in London anyway and I don’t wanna risk hurting you again. I’m sorry. This is killing me. AJ x”.

I threw my phone down on the mattress and picked up my pillow, wrapping it tightly around my face as I cried into it. I don’t really know why I hid my face. It was like I didn’t want anyone to see me cry, even though there was no one else was in the room. I remember thinking that it was one of those moments I’d never forget. Like a scene from a film that sticks in your mind long after the end credits roll.

But it’s funny, because I also remember thinking how there was a strange sort of beauty about the whole thing. In breaking down. In letting go. In feeling like my heart was breaking over and over again.

Sunday, 2 December 2018


"I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. How I couldn’t envision being with anyone else. Had absolutely no interest in it. Not even a quick, meaningless fumble with a fit muscle guy in a blue t-shirt in a gay pub and his hot muscle daddy boyfriend. I wanted to tell him that my body was his. And how much I worshipped him. Every single part of him. But it all just felt too big to say."

OK, guys, here goes with part 12 of "AJ & Noah"! I'm not gong to say too much about this one. There's not a *huge* amount of the story left after this part so enjoy it while it lasts!

On another note, I'm doing a top 20 bodybuilders of 2018 list throughout December over on my Twitter page if you fancy checking it out. So far Brad Rowe has taken the #20 spot and Adolf Burkhard is in 19th place!

Thirty Four

“I wonder what would have happened if we’d have stayed friends at school?” I asked AJ.

I was wrapped around him on the hotel bed, my head resting on his chest, his right arm wrapped tightly around me and his left hand holding mine as they rested on his abs.

My whole body looked absurdly pale next to his bronzed skin. Somewhere on the hotel room floor lay both AJ’s pink posing trunks and the lime green ones he’d let me wear. Maybe the straps of both pairs were intertwined with each other, the posers almost sharing their own little snuggle like me and AJ were.

“Like, do you think we would have still ended up together?” I added.

I looked up at AJ. He had this little grin on his face but was looking pensive too. “Mmmm! I hope we would’ve!” he said.

“We could have been boyfriends for years!” I replied.

AJ dreamily grinned at me. “You could have been there for my very first bodybuilding show!” he said.

“Oh yeah! I wouldn’t have let you wear those awful black posing trunks either!”

AJ did one of his cute, little giggles. “Hmmmm. Who knows, maybe we wouldn’t have ended up like this if we had?” AJ suggested. “Maybe we had to stop being friends so all this could happen?”

My heart fluttered. “I like that theory!” I said, squeezing his hand with mine.

I turned my face down again, resting my cheek against one of AJ’s pecs. “You know when we stopped being friends? I thought a few times afterwards whether I could have done more!” I said, not facing him.

“Awwww!” AJ replied, burying his face in the top of my head and giving it a soft kiss. “I think it was just one of those things!” he said. “Friends just drifting apart!”

You drifting apart from me, I thought.

“Hmmm. I dunno. Sometimes I think I let you go too easily,” I said. I don’t think I’d ever said that to anyone before. He gripped my hand tighter and squeezed.

We stayed cuddling in silence for a little while after that, just enjoying being wrapped around each other, until AJ finally spoke. “Mmmm. What time is it?”

“Erm … not sure. Probably about seven?” I said.

“I’m fucking starving!” AJ said. “I’d usually be eating cheat meals after a competition! Shall we go out?”

For some reason, a voice in my head shouted, “NO!” I couldn’t explain it, but it was so clear.

“Or we could just stay here all night in bed?” I suggested, looking up at him and grinning.

AJ cheekily grinned back at me. “Let’s go out!” he said.

I still didn’t know why I’d wanted to stay in when I was sat opposite AJ at a table in a cosy little corner of an Italian restaurant somewhere around Covent Garden. As it had been before, being in public with AJ felt like such an incredible rush. As was just being with him in the city, away from Little Denton. Doing things other than going to Scorpio’s or watching Dom and Cole in his bedroom, not having to worry about whether we could do stuff because his mum and Andy were home.

AJ was bursting out of a white t-shirt. His bronzed arms, face and neck contrasting ridiculously with the white material. I still couldn’t believe how much of a proper bodybuilder he looked. I’m sure my cock had been hard more often than it hadn’t that day.

The tips of our trainers were touching under the table. I could have just stayed there sitting across from him and looking at his gorgeous face all night. Our relationship had definitely reached new heights after what had happened at the hotel. I still couldn’t quite believe what we’d done. That AJ had been able to do what he did and it had bought me such intense, mind blowing pleasure. I wondered if the buzz I was feeling was ever going to end.

“So, what do you think of London?” I asked him.

“It’s mental!” AJ exclaimed. I grinned in response. “There’s just … people everywhere!” It was kind of adorable seeing AJ’s eyes opening up to something new. He seemed so innocent in that moment. It was so fucking endearing.

“You seem different here, too!” AJ said, surprising me.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “How?!” I asked, curious and excited at his response.

AJ grinned and shrugged. “I dunno! Just … a bit more grown up I guess!”

I had never really thought about it before then, but I guess I was a slightly different version of myself when I was in London, away from my family and Little Denton,  where I didn’t have my mother worrying about me. Quizzing me about where I was going and who I was going out with.

I had so much freedom when I was in London. There were so many things I could do. So many different places to go. Sometimes I wanted it all so much. And yet, on the other hand, there had been so many times in the two years since I’d left for university when all I’d really wanted was to be back at home in Little Denton. Texting Naomi in my bedroom and wanking off to huge, shredded bodybuilders on my laptop.

“Is that a good thing?” I asked AJ, curiously. I think I knew the answer.

He gave me an adorable, loving grin. “Any version of you is good!” he replied.

I melted and sheepishly smiled back at him. I’m sure I probably blushed a little too. Before I could reply we were approached by the waitress bringing us our pizzas. She had this conspicuous little smirk on her face when she looked at AJ. I could tell she thought he was hot.

“Looks like you’ve got another admirer!” I said to him as she walked away.

AJ playfully sighed. “The downfall of being a sexy fucker! Everyone wants me!”

I laughed and playfully shook my head. “If you start bouncing your pecs again like you did on the tube I’m walking out!”

AJ beamed. “Yeah right! You loved it!”

I rolled my eyes and smirked. AJ picked up his knife and fork. Straightening up his back, he cleared his throat loudly and proceeded to bounce his pecs underneath his white t-shirt.

I shook my head and grinned like mad. “I don’t see you going anywhere!” he cheekily said, as he goofily grinned at me.

“I can’t believe how hard that guy on the tube was staring at you! He wasn’t even trying to be subtle!” I said to AJ.

AJ cheekily grinned. “Does everyone down here have a thing for shredded muscle freaks?”

A question suddenly came into my head. My stomach clenched a little at the thought of asking it. Normally I wouldn’t have, but there was something about that evening, what had happened at the hotel earlier, and just being away from Little Denton with AJ that was giving me a sense of bravery.

“Do you think you could you see yourself living down here?” I asked AJ, my stomach suddenly twisting.

AJ immediately screwed his face up. “Hmmm. Nah! I don’t think it’s for me!” he said shaking his head.

Fuuuuck! It felt like someone had kicked me in the fucking stomach. I actually couldn’t quite believe he’d responded that way. Given me such a resounding no. And so thoughtlessly. What the fuck did AJ expect me to do once I’d graduated university? Move back to Little Denton and get a job in Tesco? I knew we hadn’t discussed what would happen that far into the future, but surely AJ had thought about it? If only just a little?

What was also bad was that he didn’t even seem to register my disappointment. At least not at first. Once I’d been quiet for a little while he asked me if I was okay and I assured him I was. Perhaps foolishly. Maybe I should have just bought up the subject there and then, but I didn’t want it to seem like I was overacting. And I definitely didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere or the night. Even though AJ had kind of done that already. So I tried to convince myself I was being stupid and tried to put it out of my mind. Apparently not very successfully.

“You sure you’re okay?” AJ asked me as we walked out of the restaurant and headed towards Soho. We’d agreed to go to a bar, even though a huge part of me just wanted to go back to the hotel and fall asleep as fast as I could. In hope that when I woke up the next morning I would have snapped out of the mood AJ had put me in and forgotten all about his comment about not wanting to move to London.

“Yeah!” I reassured him, perhaps unconvincingly.

AJ narrowed his eyes. “You’ve gone quiet on me! I didn’t hurt you earlier did I?”

The question took me by surprise. I knew what he meant. Somehow I just didn’t expect him to ask me that. It was so considerate and sweet.

“No!” I assured him, sheepishly grinning at him and suddenly wanting to melt into him. Or at least hold his hand again like we’d done earlier on the way to the hotel.

“Good! I was a bit worried!” he said, biting his lip and grinning at me.

I wanted to tell him that no, he hadn’t hurt me. That what we’d done had been the single most pleasurable experience I’d ever had, and I couldn’t wait for him to be inside me again. That was the point that I managed to shrug off the earlier incident. What may or may not happen in the future suddenly didn’t seem so relevant.

AJ had requested I take him to one of the pubs I go to. I didn’t have the energy to face one of the bars where the younger guys go so I opted for one I knew of with an older crowd.

I knew that AJ was going to turn a few heads, but I wasn’t quite prepared for just how much attention he received. Jesus! It felt like practically everyone in the bar was staring at us. It probably didn’t help that I’d bought him to one of the cruisiest pubs in Soho. A fact I’d suddenly remembered once we were in there. I’d always received my fair share of attention whenever I’d been in that pub. So of fucking course everyone was staring at and checking out the huge, bronzed, painfully gorgeous bodybuilder bulging out of his tight, white t-shirt.

Even the insanely fit barman who served us was gawping at AJ. “I thought you said no one cares in London?” AJ said with a smug grin, as we found a spot to stand and I explained to him what cruisy meant, enjoying the fact that AJ was so innocent about such things.

It was interesting, because on that night in the bar back home where AJ and his mate had joined me, Eddie and Naomi, I’d loved seeing the attention he’d received. On that night, however, it was making me feel uncomfortable. Even a little anxious that so much attention was coming in our direction.

Maybe the reason I was feeling uncomfortable was because AJ and I were now together. He wasn’t just a guy I suspected might, against all odds, be interested in me. He was now my boyfriend, being checked out by an entire bar of guys. But there was something else that was bothering me too. I could tell that it was having an effect on AJ. It wasn’t an environment he’d been in before and from the glint in his eyes, I could tell that he liked it. All of these guys so blatantly checking him out.

“Those lads over that look pretty beefy!” AJ said, nodding to the corner of the bar. He was giving the same mischievous, wide eyed look he would if he were pointing out a particularly big guy at Scorpio’s who he thought I might fancy.

I turned and noticed three hot muscle guys looking in our direction. One was about 6’3, built like a brick shithouse, olive skinned and, quite possibly, one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen in my life. But I could tell there was an arrogance there, even from the other side of the pub, which was an immediate turn off. There was something about the way he was looking at us, almost in judgement, which made my stomach clench.

The other two guys looked a little more easy going. One was a bit of a daddy. The other probably late twenties, maybe early thirties. Short-ish, good looking, pretty muscular, but no where near the level of the other guy, or the bodybuilder who’d cum inside me just a few hours before.

I probably should have known that when I left AJ alone to use the toilets, someone would approach him. I would never have predicted that I’d go back to the bar to find the three muscle guys he’d pointed out surrounding him, though.

I felt nervous approaching them. I knew that these guys weren’t interested in talking to me. That they definitely wouldn’t have approached me if AJ hadn’t been there. It was funny, because even before I was standing with them, I couldn’t help thinking how absurdly comfortable AJ looked with them. Even though he’d only just met them. It was almost like he’d found his people. Hot muscle gays. A private little club I definitely did not belong to.

“This is Noah!” AJ said, putting his hand on my back. The daddy and the short guy surprised me because they were really warm and friendly. But the other guy, the tall, beautiful, olive skinned guy, who AJ introduced as Dale, barely looked at me. In fact, it was almost as if he made a point of not looking at me.

And then, a few minutes in, we locked eyes, and I’ll never forget the look he gave me. I don’t think I’d ever really been looked down on before. But that was definitely was this guy had done. An intense feeling of hatred consumed me. There was no question about it. Mr Olive Skin was an absolute fucking dick.

After ten minutes or so, AJ went to the toilets. The short-ish guy, whose name was Jack, leaned into me. “Where the hell did you find him?” he cheekily asked. I couldn’t help but get a kick out of his reaction to AJ. I explained that we’d been friends at school and had bumped into each other just a few months before. I told how I’d assumed he was straight but we’d spent the summer rekindling our friendship and that we’d ended up getting together just a few weeks before.

“Awww! That’s kinda sweet!“ Jack, said to me. “Sorry, was it Noah?” he asked. Then he linked his arm with mine and fuck, I definitely felt something. I told him yes.

“I can see you’ve got a bit of muscle on you. You’re kind of like a muscle man to be!” he said. I couldn’t help but swoon and grin at his compliment. He was so incredibly charming and warm. Plus, he was undeniably sexy, filling out a tight blue t-shirt, with his pecs visibly straining through the material. Next to AJ, he was probably the hottest guy who’d ever chatted to me in a bar. The muscle daddy, who I’d found out was Jack’s boyfriend and who was now talking to another random guy who’d approached us, was pretty fucking sexy too.

“What are you guys doing after this?” Jack asked me.

“Erm … nothing,” I said, feeling both nervous and excited at what was unfolding.

“Do you guys wanna come back to ours?” he asked.

Had that been proposed to me two months earlier, and to me alone, I wouldn’t have thought twice about saying yes. But that was before AJ had come along.

“We’ve got coke!” he informed me.

“Ummm … I’m not sure if AJ is into that!” I replied, even though I was pretty sure that AJ actually would be up for trying it, if he hadn’t already.

“We don’t have to do that! Whatever you guys wanna do!”

It was obvious what that meant. Jack and his muscle daddy boyfriend wanted to mess about with the gorgeous, hot bodybuilder who’d waddled into the pub and caused a stir. If that meant his much smaller, non-muscular boyfriend had to come along for the ride too, then so be it.

I wanted to believe that AJ wouldn’t be into it. But, I honestly couldn’t say for definite that he wouldn’t. It was completely uncharted territory. The idea of having sex with a couple of hot guys we’d met in a pub wasn’t something we’d ever discussed. I knew what I wanted though, and that was to go back to my hotel room and spend the night with the boy I was in love with. Just me and him.

But something else was suddenly pre-occupying my mind, because Mr Olive Skin had left the group, and I suddenly noticed where he was. Talking to my boyfriend just a few feet away from the entry of the toilets. Whispering in his ear, with his hand placed gently on his shoulder. AJ looking both interested and engaged. Fuck! An unnerving, sick feeling churned in my stomach.

What the fuck was that prick saying to AJ? And why exactly did it merit him touching his shoulder? My mind was racing as I imagined all the possible things Dale could have been saying to my boyfriend. Informing AJ that there were plenty of gay muscle guys in London. Some of whom he could personally introduce him to. Maybe AJ was starting to see how exciting it would be if he hung around with guys like Jack and Mr Olive Skin? And maybe AJ would start to listen when all of his new hot muscle friends told him that a guy like him could do so much better than a guy like me?

We left the pub not longer after that, my mind still spiralling with all of those thoughts. Sometimes when I get into a certain mindset, I can’t seem to shift my mood. It was like my brain switched into this dark place with all these negative, anxious thoughts swirling around it. And the only thing I could do was just endure it.

The worst thing about it was that it affected the atmosphere between me and AJ. For the first time ever, I didn’t feel comfortable with him. It was like there was an awkwardness hanging over us. He didn’t say anything initially, but I knew he felt it too.

AJ was being uncharacteristically quiet. And then I suddenly thought, what if it had nothing to do with me and my mood? What if it was because of whatever that fucking dick had been saying to him in the pub, whilst his hand had been on his shoulder? I needed to find out what had happened.

“What did that guy say to you? When you were coming back from the toilets?” I asked AJ. We were walking back to the tube through busy, crowded London.

“Oh, what Dale?”

Ugh! I hated the way AJ said his name like he knew him. Like they were friends. FUCK OFF! You only met him an hour ago, I thought.

“Oh, was that his name?” I asked, pointedly. AJ shot me this weird look. He knew I was being funny with him.

“He was just telling me about this club where muscle guys go!”

My stomach churned. I’ll bet he fucking was, I thought. I didn’t respond, but all I could think about on the tube ride back to the hotel was what might happen if AJ did move down to London to be with me.

What if he did start hanging out with Mr Olive Skin and all of his hot muscle friends? And what if I slowly lost him to those people, just like I’d lost him to the cool kids at school? But, perhaps what was worrying me the most, was what if AJ realised that he could do so much better than me? Be with a guy so much more muscular and sexier than I was? Someone like Dale or Jack or his muscle daddy boyfriend?

Maybe it was best that AJ stayed in Little Denton. Where people like Mr Olive Skin couldn’t take him away from me.

Once we were back in the hotel room, my mood lightened a little. The amazing memories of what me and AJ had done earlier in this very room were starting to come back. But I still couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened at the pub. And I still couldn’t seem to get the image of AJ and Mr Olive Skin out of my head. Granted he’d towered over AJ with his tall height, and was at least several years old than us, if not more, but I couldn’t stop thinking that the two of them had looked good together.

“You know that guy, Jack, asked me if we wanted to go back with him and his boyfriend?” I said, lying on the bed as AJ stood over it and played with the TV remote.

He furrowed his eyebrows and smirked. “Really?! What, like … a foursome?”

I nodded. AJ looked surprised but amused. “What, he just came out and asked you?”

“Pretty much!” I said, nodding and feeling charmed at AJ’s naivety at how forward gay guys could be. I was almost tempted to ask whether he’d have gone for it, but I didn’t think I wanted to know the answer.

AJ jumped on the bed. He climbed on me and lay flat on top of me, resting his chin on my stomach and looked up at me with intent while making an, “Mmmm,” noise.

I melted instantly, grinned and put my hands on his back, while feeling his bronzed up mass squashed against my body.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, with genuine concern.

The question threw me. “Nothing!” I said, gripping him.

AJ rolled his eyes. “Liar!”

I felt sheepish, and reluctant to talk. But I also kind of loved that AJ was concerned. And how sweet he was being.

“Something’s up. Have I upset you?” AJ asked, looking a little worried.

“No!” I lied. “I’m just … being stupid!” I told him.

“Well I’m not moving ‘till you tell me what’s wrong! I’ll go to sleep right here on top of you if I have to!”

I rolled my eyes and sighed, still reluctant to open up.

“Right then! Night night!” AJ joked. And then he turned his face away from me and placed his cheek on my chest and made a snoring sound, pretending to go to sleep on top of me.

I couldn’t help grin at what he was doing. “Ooooh, this pillow’s a bit lumpy!” AJ said, wiggling on top of me.

I giggled, continuing to grip on to him and he looked back up at me with a big, self-satisfied grin on his face. Clearly feeling pleased himself. I loved the fact that we were back to our normal selves. That the uncomfortable awkwardness I’d felt when we’d left the pub had passed.

“Tell me what’s up!” he gently ordered.

I sighed. What was I supposed to tell him? I didn’t want to bring up his comment about not wanting to live in London, but AJ clearly wasn’t going to drop the subject. I knew I had to tell him something. Go part way to explain what was bothering me.

“That guy in the pub was kind of a dick to me!” I said. Mr Olive Skin was playing a big contribution to my mood after all.

“Which one?!” he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Dale!” I said, rolling my eyes. “Or whatever his name was!”

AJ looked surprised. “What did he do?”

I shrugged. “It was just the way he was with me. He was just rude! And he gave me this look!”

AJ looked at me like I was being overdramatic. I was starting to regret telling AJ how I felt. “Hmmm. He seemed okay to me!”

Ugh! That pissed me off. I was telling him that someone had been a dick to me. Why wasn’t he taking my word for it?

“Well he was okay to you!” I said. I knew how that made me sound. Like a crazy, jealous boyfriend.

AJ’s mouth curled into a little grin. Like he thought I was being cute. “Does it matter though, Noah?” he said, shrugging his shoulders slightly. “He was just some random guy in a bar!”

Just some random guy, I thought. Who was absurdly good looking. And built like a brick shithouse. And oh yeah, had his hand on your fucking shoulder.

“Anyway, mister, you were funny with me before then!” AJ said.

Oh God. My stomach twisted.

“Was it something I said in the Italian?”

Fuck. AJ clearly wasn’t going to let me get off that easily. Maybe it was time to broach the subject? Tell him the truth of what had initially bothered me? I took a deep breath.

“It was what you said about London,” I said, nervously. AJ looked at me confused. “How you couldn’t see yourself living here?” I explained.

He furrowed his eyebrows, but there was something in his expression too. A seriousness that wasn’t there before. Maybe he knew where I was heading.

“Okay …,” he said, prompting me for a further explanation.

“It’s just … I dunno. I’m probably gonna end up living here when I finish uni. Especially if I wanna get into publishing!”

“Yeah, but, that’s not for, like, another year!” he said.

“I know. I guess, I just think about these things!” I said honestly, feeling more nervous still.

“Are you saying you’d want me to move to London?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

Fuck! “No!” I said, instinctively. “I dunno!” Fuuuuck. What was I saying? My heart was pounding. AJ had a serious look on his face. “I mean … not right now!”

AJ’s expression softened and he gave me this warm little grin. And I felt a flutter of excitement. There was a part of me that thought it was a crazy notion. The idea of AJ moving to London to be with me. Especially as we hadn’t been together that long. But there was another part of me that couldn’t think of anything more logical. Being as close to the boy I loved as I could.

The way AJ was looking at me, and what he said next suggested that maybe he didn’t think it wasn’t such a crazy notion either.

“I mean … I haven’t really thought about it properly!” he said, with a little shrug. I felt a pinch of excitement. “It’s just so different down here! And people don’t stare at me in public as much!” he added, wiggling his eyebrows and cheekily grinning.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. 

“But, Noah,” he began, suddenly looking serious, “it’s not like you asked me to move here and I said no. And I’ve only been here for, like, half a day!” he reasoned. “I can’t really say whether I might wanna live here in a years time or not!”

So don’t wait a year, I thought. Come with me when I move back here next month. But that seemed like an even crazier notion. And way too out there to suggest.

“And I’m not being funny, but you don’t definitely know you’re gonna stay here after uni either!” AJ continued.

AJ was right, of course. When did he become the voice of reason? “I know!” I said, shaking my head. “I’m being stupid!”

He gave me this adorable grin and looked at me lovingly. “I guess I’m just worried!” I explained, feeling brave. I didn’t think too much about what I said next. Perhaps if I had, I wouldn’t have said it.

“Like, I’ll be going back to uni next month. I don’t want things to change.” I couldn’t believe what I was saying. That I was being so honest. But I guess I felt like it finally needed to be said. And that felt like the perfect moment.

Something flickered in AJ’s expression. A look of worry. Sadness, even. “I know. I think about it too!” he confessed. Fuck. My heart fluttered. “But it’s not like I’m going anywhere!” he added.

But what if, once I’m back in London, you realise you don’t wanna be with me? I thought. What if you sign up to a dating app and meet someone like Eddie just like I did a few months ago? And what if you go to the one of the gay pubs in town and meet another hot muscle guy and realise you wanna be with him instead of your long distance boyfriend you don‘t get to see as much as you’d like?

“I mean, if anyone should be worried it’s me!” AJ exclaimed.

That completely threw me. “Why?!” I asked, confused.

“Cause you’ll be down here. Going out! Meeting guys in pubs and getting invited back to theirs! And I’ll be back in Little Denton! Just … waiting ‘till I get to see you again!”

I couldn’t believe it. I had no idea that AJ had been thinking any of those things. I shook my head and looked at him lovingly, while gently playing with the top of his left, slightly jug ear.

I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. How I couldn’t envision being with anyone else. Had absolutely no interest in it. Not even a quick, meaningless fumble with a fit muscle guy in a blue t-shirt in a gay pub and his hot muscle daddy boyfriend. I wanted to tell him that my body was his. And how much I worshipped him. Every single part of him. But it all just felt too big to say.

“Trust me. You’ve got nothing to worry about! You know what you mean to me!” I said, a little sheepishly.

He dreamily smiled at me, and then leant in to kiss me. I could have stayed there all night just looking at him. Kissing him. Touching him. Feeling him against me.

I hoped that AJ believed what I’d said. I hoped he knew how much he meant to me. I hoped he knew that I would never intentionally hurt him. And more than anything, I hoped that he was wishing for all of those exact same things from me.

Thirty Five

“So, what sort of things have you been doing?” Naomi asked me.

We were sitting in a Chinese restaurant near Soho. I’d done three days of my work experience placement at Third Hill Publishing and Naomi had come up from Brighton for the evening to see me. I proceeded to tell her about all the mostly fun, book related things the guys at the company had got me doing.

“And are you missing AJ?” she asked, with a teasing grin on her face.

I grinned and rolled my eyes. “It’s only been three days!” I exclaimed. “Obviously we’ve been texting. And messaging on Facebook!”

Now that I was actually on my work experience placement in London, I felt a little embarrassed about the fact that I’d been gotten so worked up about being away from AJ for such a short amount of time. Even to the point where I’d considered not going on the work placement in the first place.

As AJ had rightly predicted, the three days so far had flown by. In another two nights I would be back home in Little Denton and I’d get to see him again. Obviously I was looking forward to it, but as it turned out I actually was able to function without my daily fix of being cuddled by my bodybuilder boyfriend.

“I better get used to not seeing him anyway when I’m back at uni!” I continued.

“How often do you think you’ll go back?” Naomi asked.

I shrugged. “Every weekend. Hopefully!” I said, a little sheepishly.

“Really? Awwww! That’s so sweet!”

“And hopefully he’ll come down here some weekends too when he can get it off work!” I said.

My stomach clenched tightly as I suddenly thought about our night out the weekend before and I pictured Dale, the excruciatingly beautiful muscle guy we’d met in the pub we’d gone to, whispering into AJ’s ear with his hand on his shoulder.

Maybe I could somehow get barred from every gay pub in London? Severely reducing the risk of AJ attracting the attention of any ridiculously gorgeous, olive skinned muscle men and their hot muscle daddy friends, who try to entice us into orgies back at theirs (not that that proposition had been particularly un-enjoyable). I hadn’t told Naomi anything about that evening yet. Including the discussion we’d had at the hotel afterwards.

“We actually had a bit of an argument Saturday,” I told her. “Well … I’m not really sure if you’d have called it an argument, as such.”

“What happened?” Naomi asked, intrigued.

I sighed. I told her what AJ had said about London. About how he couldn’t see himself living here and how I’d told him it had bothered me so much back at the hotel.

“Well … I hate to say it, Noah, but I think AJ’s right!” Naomi said. “I don’t think you should be worrying about stuff that’s, like, a year in the future! I mean, he might come down here a few times to visit and decide he really likes it? And like AJ said, you can’t say for definite that you’re gonna stay here when you graduate. I mean, who knows, you might end up getting a job in town back home!”

I pulled a face. “Doing what?!”

Naomi shrugged. “I don’t know! But the publishing thing might not work out. Or you might decide you don’t wanna do it?”

“Mmmm,” I said. I knew Naomi was right, of course. But I’d always pictured myself staying in London after university. This is where most of the jobs I was interested in were. And even though I’d only been on my work experience placement at Third Hill Publishing for a week, I could really see myself working there permanently. Or at least somewhere similar.

But what if AJ really didn’t want to move to London? What if I had to choose between a job and a career, and ultimately the life I really wanted, or the gorgeous, sweet, funny bodybuilder I’d fallen in love with back in my hometown?

“You guys will be fine! It’ll work itself out!” Naomi said.

I wanted to believe she was right, so did my insides feel like they were tightening?

When I woke up the next morning, for some reason, the last thing I wanted to do was spend the day sitting in an office full of people I barely knew for seven hours. Maybe it was because I’d spoken about him the night before with Naomi, but I suddenly really wanted to be back in Little Denton with AJ. Cuddled up to him on his bed watching an episode of Dom and Cole In The Land of Ug on Netflix in our different coloured Scorpio’s Gym hoodies.

Sending him a Facebook message on my lunch break was the best I could do.

“Is it possible to get withdrawal symptoms from cuddling your gorgeous bodybuilder boyfriend?” I sent, with a blushing face emoji.

It was an agonising fifteen minutes or so until AJ text me back. It was crazy. After all those weeks of exchanging Facebook messages, he still had the power to make my whole body fill with excitement just from sending me a simple reply.

“Hehe!! You better not start going round that office hugging random, geeky, bookworm boys!”

I sent him the AJ emoji. “You’re safe! There’s no huggable boys here. I’ve not seen even a hint of a bicep!”

Three dots appeared then vanished. Then appeared again. It was taking AJ an unusually long amount of time to reply to my message. When it eventually did come through, I wasn’t quite prepared for what that message would say.

“Hey, I’m going out with some old college mates tomorrow night.”

FUCK! My heart sank instantly. I was absolutely gutted. I had started to really look forward to seeing AJ again and I’d expected it to be the following night. I’d already pictured going round to his house and being reunited with him a dozen times that morning. I wondered whether I should be mad at him. And then I reasoned no. It was only one more night after all. I never wanted to be the type of boyfriend who would get pissed off at him for going out and doing things without me.

“Awww! That’s OK!” I messaged. Even though I wasn’t sure if it was.

Three dots appeared then vanished. What was with all the hesitation? I didn’t like it. Something felt off.

“Sorry!! Will deffo see you Saturday though!” AJ messaged, with a smiling and blushing face emoji.

I grinned as I looked at the message. Three dots. AJ was typing something else.

“I’ll get my new pink posers out!”

I beamed wildly into my phone screen and pictured AJ in the shiny pink trunks I’d gifted him the Saturday before and my cock began to instantly swell beneath my work trousers.

“Ummm…FUCK YEAH!” I messaged, with three of the AJ emojis.

After we’d wrapped up our conversation, I didn’t hear from AJ for the rest of the day, or the following day when I finished my work experience placement and travelled back on the train to Little Denton. It might not have necessarily seemed like cause for concern, but I couldn’t quite shake this nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

That nagging feeling only grew the next day when I text AJ to ask if we were still meeting up and I didn‘t get a reply. I knew there was a strong possibility he was either asleep or severely hungover from his night out with his old college mates. So why did I have a feeling that something else was going on? And worse than that, why did I have this worrying feeling that AJ might be ignoring me?

It was only when he finally responded to my text, a good couple of hours after I’d sent it, that I started to think that I may have just been being paranoid.

“Sorry, Cookie!! Bit hungover. ARRGHH!! I’m back home though. Come round!”

A huge wave of relief washed over me. I suddenly couldn’t stop grinning. Because, after almost a week, I was finally going to get to see AJ again.

I was oddly nervous standing on his doorstep waiting for him to answer. Probably more so than since that very first time I’d come round to his house and we’d taken our first trip to Scorpio’s. A sudden wave of nostalgia washed over me as I remembered how uncharacteristically nervous AJ had seemed on that occasion. And now I knew why, of course. Because he’d been secretly harbouring feelings for me.

I think there’s a part of me that will never quite believe that happened. That the old school friend who grew up to be a gorgeous, competitive bodybuilder I’d ran into one day at Tesco and started exchanging cheeky Facebook messages and going to the gym with actually liked me back.

When the door opened, all of my nerves evaporated. Because, for the first time in almost a week, I was standing in front of that very bodybuilder. Admittedly looking more tired and a little rougher round the edges than usual but giving me that gorgeous little grin which curled from one side of his mouth that I loved so much.

His insanely developed upper body, still a little bronzed in the sexiest fashion from the previous weekend’s competition tan, was bulging out of a white vest and he was wearing baggy grey shorts. His ridiculously sized round shoulders and the top of his thick plates of pec muscle bulging around the cotton material.

“Hey, you!” I said.

“Hi, stranger!” he replied, still grinning, as I walked in his house. As soon as the door was closed, I wrapped my arms around him and went in for a kiss. Fuuuuck. I’d forgotten how good his obscenely muscular body felt against my skin and just how much kissing him made me want to die. Every fucking time.

When we parted lips, we looked at each other, our bodies still pressed tightly together. AJ was smiling at me, but there was something not quite right about his expression. A strange seriousness that I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe nerves. Or maybe just the after effect of his night out.

“How’s the hangover?” I asked.

AJ pulled his “eeeek” face and looked sheepish and I just grinned and playing rolled my eyes in response. He usually held my hand on the way up to his bedroom. On that occasion he didn’t. And so, once we were inside his bedroom, I wrapped my fingers with his and he gave me this coy little grin.

“Glad to be back in Little Denton?” he asked.

“I am now!” I said, squeezing his hand. “Was last night good, then?” I asked as we sat down on his bed.

“Hmmm. Yeah. It was alright.” His voice was a little distant. It wasn’t just his voice, either. He seemed distant himself.

“Have you only just got home?” I asked.

“Yeah. I was at Nathan’s.”

I didn’t know why, but the atmosphere felt slightly awkward. Sitting on AJ’s bed with him just didn’t feel as comfortable as it usually did. Maybe it was because we’d not seen each other for a week? Maybe it was just because AJ wasn’t feeling one hundred per cent? Whatever the reason, I hated it. I just wanted things to be normal again.

“Are you hanging really bad?” I asked.

AJ made a little groaning noise and tipped his head back against his bedroom wall. “Kind of. I’m sorry!”

I grinned and playfully shook my head. I honestly didn’t care. Hungover AJ was better than no AJ at all. Or AJ half way across the country. “Just tell me if you want me to go!” I said, earnestly.

He instantly furrowed his eyebrows. “Fuck that!” he exclaimed. “I’ve only just got you back!”

My heart swelled and AJ climbed over to me, wrapped one arm around my waist and put his head on my chest. “Mmmm!” he said, as I squeezed him tight in my arms, his skin warm and slightly sticky. I softly kissed him on the forehead. Suddenly the atmosphere relaxed, AJ looked up at me and gave me a warm, happy grin and just like that, we were back to our usual selves. My heart filled with so much joy I thought it might actually burst.

“Missed you!” I said, into the top of AJ’s head.

“Mmmm!” he said, nuzzling his cheek into my chest. “Me too!” he replied, gripping my waist tightly. “I’ve missed doing this!” he confessed. I melted and grinned.

“I’ve missed your little tummy!” AJ continued, tickling my stomach. I bit my lip and grinned.

“And I’ve missed your massive fucking cock!” he said, suddenly grabbing my hard on bulging through my jeans. I giggled in response then groaned as he squeezed it. “Grrrrrr!” he said sexily, before twisting his head up and shooting me a cheeky, excited grin.

AJ undid my belt buckle and I gripped on to his huge back, grinning ecstatically as he undid the buttons on my jeans, manoeuvred down and took my throbbing cock out of my boxers.

He made a sexy little groan and put his lips around the head of my hard dick. “Oh God!” I groaned in response as AJ worked my cock with his wet lips, dancing his tongue around the rim of the head and plunging up and down, all the time making these hot, little, muffled groans and moans.

“Oh fuck!” I groaned as I ran one hand over his shaved head and gripped his shoulder blades with the other. If AJ kept doing what he was doing, it wouldn’t be long before I blew. He seemed determined for that happen. “Oh God! AJ. I’m close!” I cried.

He responded by groaning louder and sucking harder. I was in my own little heaven. Lying back and letting the boy I loved worship my hard, throbbing cock with his perfect mouth. I felt myself getting closer and closer to cumming. For some reason, when I knew I was about to cum, I didn’t feel like warning him. Maybe I was just feeling a little mischievous? Or maybe, somewhere subconsciously, I wanted to get my own back for him going out with his mates the night before instead of seeing me? Somehow, the fact I didn’t tell him I was about to cum made the orgasm seem even more intense. I cried loudly and AJ groaned as my cock exploded in his mouth.

When he was done he looked up and shot me an animated, wide eyed glare. But I could tell he was amused by what had happened too. “Sorry!” I said, genuinely. “Probably should have warned you!” I said, failing not to grin back at him.

He pulled a jokey, indifferent face and shrugged. “Meh! I’ve had worse surprises!” he said, his mouth then curling into the cheekiest grin.

He rested his head on my tummy as I stroked his shaved head and gripped his gorgeous body. A huge wave of happiness and comfort washed over me. Because I was back in AJ’s bedroom, the place I loved with the boy I was completely besotted with. Just me and him, back in the little world that we’d created. We stayed like that for a few minutes, neither of us talking. Time seemed to slowed down. Until AJ released a groan and lifted up his head. “Need the toilet!” he announced, lifting his head off my stomach.

Before he climbed off the bed, I pulled him back and towards me for a kiss. “Mmmm!” he said, as we parted lips.

“Maybe you can surprise me when you get back!” I cheekily suggested. AJ bit his lip, wiggling his eyebrows up and down and left the room, happily grinning as he went.

I sank my head into AJ’s pillow, rolled towards the wall and closed my eyes, while grinning to myself, still feeling happy and content. After a few seconds, AJ’s phone beeped from somewhere on the bed. I lifted my head up a little and saw it near my feet with the screen lit up.

I kicked it to bring it closer and when it was close enough to reach I bought it towards me. AJ had received a text message.

As soon as I saw the name of who the message was from, my stomach violently lurched. “Dale”. The guy from the bar the weekend before. Mr Olive Skin. The insanely beautiful, built like a brick shithouse muscle guy who was a complete and utter prick to me, but seemed more than interested in my boyfriend, whispering into his ear at one point with his hand on his shoulder. An image now embedded on my memory. I had a feeling that looking at this text on AJ’s phone would be a very such image too.

“Just got home. Thanks for last night, sexy man x”.

I felt like I was going to be sick. My body seemed to be going into a panic. My heart was racing. And all of my insides felt like they were trying to escape. Like they couldn’t fit into my body anymore. I couldn’t quite believe what I was looking at. It didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be real.

AJ came back into the bedroom. “Mmmm! I don’t feel so hungover now!” he announced. As soon as he saw my face, he knew that something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong?!” he asked, concerned.

“What the fuck is this?!” I asked, handing him his phone. It was weird. It was AJ standing over me. The boy I loved. But, suddenly, it also wasn’t him at all.

A look of fear and panic swept over his face as he read the screen of my phone and I knew in that moment that something had happened between them.

My chest suddenly felt really heavy. Anger and hurt building up inside me. And then, looking at AJ, a completely new emotion swept over me. Something I’d never felt with AJ, or ever expected too, either. This sudden, intense feeling of disdain.

“Dale?!” I spat. “That guy from the pub last week?”

He looked at me, looking worried, a little shell shocked and guilty as fucking hell. “He’s got mates in town!” he said. “He asked me if I wanted to go out.”

“What the fuck?!” I said, not even really to AJ. Just the space between us. My head was spinning. I couldn’t get my thoughts around it. How had this happened? He’d only met the guy a week before. Just some random guy in a bar. That was how AJ had described him. How had he gone from that to someone he was texting and calling sexy in the space of a week.

“Did you give him your number last week?”

AJ shook his head. “He found me on Facebook!”

Of course he fucking did. FUCK. And then something else hit me. An almost overwhelming hatred for Mr Olive Skin. I’d already concluded that he was an absolute fucking dick from how rude he’d been to me the weekend before in the pub. And now this?

“Oh, what and he just happened to be coming up this weekend?” I spat.

“That’s what he said,” AJ replied. He looked so worried. Fucking good, I thought.

I scoffed. “Bullshit! He came up especially to see you!”

ARGHH!! I was raging. This guy had known that me and AJ were together. But still, he’d gone out of his way, not just to track AJ down on Facebook, but to then meet up with him. He’d gone through all that effort with absolutely no regard for me.

“He said he was coming up to stay with his friends!”

I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I went away for five days and this had happened. And then I looked at AJ, and suddenly I wasn’t mad at Mr Olive Skin. Suddenly I was wondering, why and how the hell had AJ done this?

“And you lied!” I exclaimed. “You told me you were going out with your old college mates!” I said, the sickness churning in my stomach again at that realisation.

“I thought you’d be funny about me going!” AJ said, his voice shaking a little, still looking guilty and worried. “You said you didn’t like him!”

Something rose up in my chest and into my face. “Why was he calling you “sexy man“? Did you do something with him?” Something caught in my throat.

AJ sat down on the bed and distressed, put his head in his hands. Fuck! And that was it. I couldn’t stop it. My eyes were watering and I was sobbing. It came so suddenly and with such force. AJ looked at me and he looked distraught. I hated the fact that AJ had done that to me. But equally, I was glad that he was there to see it. I wanted him to see me like that. To see what he’d done.

“Noah!” AJ pleaded. “It was barely anything!”

“But you did something? You messed about with him?” I said, my voice raising.

“I was drunk. It just sort of … happened!” he pleaded.

I didn’t care what he said. It didn’t matter. Because AJ, who I loved and trusted and worshipped, had done this to me. Everything felt broken. Didn’t AJ realise how fragile everything was?

“Noah! Please!” AJ pleaded again.

He put his hands on my leg and I instinctively kicked it away with my foot. Almost violently. AJ looked shocked. I just didn’t want him fucking touching me in that moment.

“He told me it was … different for gay guys,” AJ said, almost defensively. Like he was suddenly trying to excuse his actions. “He said this is what a lot of gay couples do. They mess about with other guys and it’s no big deal.”

I was so fucking angry that I stopped crying instantly. “Oh, FUCK OFF!” I shouted. Not particularly to AJ, more to that cunt, Dale.

“I’ve heard the same thing from other people!” he said.

What the FUCK?! ARRGGHH!!

“You are not fucking using that as an excuse!” I shouted. I surprised myself at how loud I was. I never thought I’d raise my voice to AJ in that way. But then, I never thought I’d have a reason to. “You’ve just fucking messed about with another guy!”

“I know! I’M SORRY! Noah! It doesn’t change the way I feel about you!”

But it changes the way I feel about you, I thought.

And that’s when it happened. I felt myself completely closing down. And this imaginary wall going up between me and AJ.

And suddenly, I didn’t want to show AJ any more emotion. “I’m going!” I announced, defiantly but calmly. I imagine I must have looked so cold and stony faced in that moment.

“Noah, don’t!” AJ pleaded, looking more panicked than ever and jumping off the bed.

I opened his bedroom door but AJ grabbed my arm. “Get off me!” I spat viciously, jerking my arm away. As if a drunken stranger had touched me inappropriately. AJ looked surprised. Scared, even. It almost looked like he was about to cry, and I softened for a moment. Because it was AJ. And I still loved him so much. More than anything. I felt myself starting to cry again so I spun around from him. I just needed to get the hell out of there.

“Noah!” AJ cried as I flew down the stairs. I grabbed the handle of his front door, my hand shaking slightly and flung it open, not looking back at him. I was determined that AJ would NOT see me cry again. I didn’t look back as I walked down the drive and away from his house either. I heard him scream, “Fuck!” to himself in the distance and a sob rose up in my mouth as I carried on walking quickly away from AJ’s house.

My whole body felt heavy. Like there was a huge weight on me. My phone vibrated in my pocket. AJ was calling me. I stopped, screamed, “FUCK OFF!” into the screen, switched my phone off, my hands and fingers shaking as I did so. I put my phone back into my pocket and exhaled deeply through pursed lips to try and stop myself from crying again.

I don’t really know why, but without thinking, I then just started running. I probably looked like an idiot sprinting down the street. But I didn’t care. Because all I wanted to do in that moment was to run. To get away from AJ Jones as fast as I possibly could.

Saturday, 24 November 2018


"I’d expected to feel a lot of things seeing AJ on an actual bodybuilding stage. Excitement, arousal, surrealism. All of which I was very much experiencing in that moment. But never did I expect to feel pride. Because that was my boyfriend up there. My sweet, gorgeous, wonderful boyfriend, who’d I’d spent the last few months falling in love with, tanned up and ready to show off his outrageously muscular physique for an audience of muscle hungry spectators, all ready to marvel at the pumped up, beautifully bronzed bodybuilder on stage"

It's time for part 11 of "AJ & Noah" and the lads are staying in London for the weekend for AJ's guest posing spot at what will be Noah's first bodybuilding show! Flexing, shredded muscle freaks in tiny, shiny posers?! Eeeeee!!

There's the return of a few familiar faces in this one, with Mark Green, the regional muscle monster daddy from Scorpio's Gym making an appearance, as well as Liam "The Guns" Watson from my "Have You Seen These Posing Trunks?" story, wearing a very familiar pair of posers! Some of you may even spot a few cheeky nods to my "Dan and Jake" story too!


My heart skipped a beat as I stood and watched AJ walking up to me outside the Little Denton train station with a holdall over his shoulder and a gorgeous, cheeky grin on his face.

He looked more tanned than I’d ever seen him, was wearing a tight fitted, black t-shirt, which his huge arms bulged out of and his thick thighs were squeezed into his painted on jeans. More significantly though, sometime in the twenty four hours since I’d last seen AJ, he’d shaved his head and was now sporting an all over buzz cut. FUCKING HELL! He’d literally never looked sexier.

I even felt a little nervous as the insanely hot bodybuilder approached me. Which was completely absurd considering I’d spent a large proportion of the previous few weeks being wrapped around him naked on his bed. Not to mention the fact that he also happened to be my fucking boyfriend.

“What’s in the suitcase?” AJ asked, beaming at me.

“Four days worth of work clothes!” I replied.

“Oh yeah! Course!” he said, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity.

It was the Saturday of AJ’s guest posing spot at the bodybuilding show in London. With my work experience placement at Third Hill Publishing starting the following Monday, I’d be going straight to my friends place the following day, while AJ would be travelling back to Little Denton alone.

In the previous few days I had made an effort to try and take a more positive view of the situation. As I had assured AJ that afternoon in his bedroom when I’d told him about the placement, I would only be staying in London for five days. And as AJ had reasoned at the time, those five days would probably fly by. And although I was trying not to dwell on the future too much, there was a part of me that recognised that five days apart from each other would become a regular occurrence once I’d gone back to university.

That morning, however, my thoughts were firmly focused on what would be happening before my work placement. Not only would I be spending the entire weekend with AJ and staying with him in a hotel, but I would be going to my very first bodybuilding show, where I’d get to see my bodybuilder boyfriend guest pose on stage. HOLY FUCKING HELL!

“When did you do that to your hair?” I asked AJ.

He pulled his “eeeek” face. “This morning! Do you hate it?!” he asked, wincing.

“NO!” I said, giving him a wide eyed look. I did miss his regular hair a little but, FUCK, AJ looked so fucking sexy. My legs were practically quivering. “The opposite!” I replied, a little sheepishly.

AJ’s mouth erupted in a dreamy grin. “Phew!” he said.

When we boarded the second train of our journey to London, there was no one else in our carriage. “This is cosy!” AJ said to me as we were sat down, me in the window seat and him spilling out of his on either side. He leaned into the aisle to have a good look down the carriage to see if anyone was approaching. Then, with a mischievous look on his face, he wrapped one of his huge arms around my leg, his hand firmly gripping the inside of my thigh near my knee. At the same time he bought his face into my neck and just lovingly grinned at me. FUUUUCK!

I gripped on to his arm and nuzzled into the top of his head. “You look so fucking sexy!” I said, rubbing his soft, shaven, buzz cut head with one hand.

AJ looked up at me and mischievously grinned. “Wait until you see me on stage!” he said, cheekily raising his eyebrows. And then he tensed his upper body and let out a, “GRRRRR!”

Fuuuuck!! I started to swell under his huge arm. “Mmmmm!” he said, with a devilish smirk, pushing his arm down against my rock hard, throbbing cock. I bit my lip. “Are there cameras in the toilets?” he joked.

It was such an indescribably horny moment. Being squashed up to my bodybuilder boyfriend, who was tanned and pumped and ready to hit a bodybuilding stage in just a few hours, his chunky, hairless, tanned arm wrapped tightly around my leg as I gripped on to it. I was trapped. Completely at his mercy. I probably would have let him do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to me in that moment. Even if it meant being thrown off the train by the conductor.

Unfortunately the affection stopped when more people entered our carriage, and it didn’t start again until we’d checked into our hotel. But it was still so incredibly erotic being sat next to AJ on the train. Not to mention frustrating. I so badly wanted to just wrap my fingers around his, hold his hand and rest my head on his huge shoulder. To show my affection for my amazing, gorgeous, beautiful boyfriend. Just the same as any straight girl would be able to.

Being stood up so close to him on the tube en route to the hotel was just as equally exciting and frustrating. “This is … weird!” AJ said to me, leaning closer as we clung on to the bars.

“What?!” I asked.

“No one’s staring at me!” he replied.

I grinned at him. “It’s London. No one cares!” I replied, even though I definitely had noticed a few lingering glances in AJ’s direction.

“That’s no fun!” AJ cheekily said. “Maybe I should take my top off?”

I giggled and dreamily looked at him, before noticing a pretty hot, butch looking gay guy sitting down, who actually was staring at us, kind of wide eyed and definitely intrigued. As our eyes met, one corner of his mouth curled into this knowing, little grin. Like he was saying, “Jesus, mate. Your boyfriend is fucking HOT!” Or maybe he was just thinking that we looked kind of cute together.

There was something about being away from Little Denton with AJ that not only felt exciting but also incredibly special. Just being on the train and the tube with him. Getting around London. Helping him get through the barriers at the station. Leading the way. It felt like we were embarking on our own little adventure.

I also couldn’t help thinking that this is what it would be like if AJ moved down here once I’d finished university and we maybe rented a little flat together. Going out regularly and exploring the city together, away from our parents and families. Me working in publishing. AJ working in a gym as a full time personal trainer. Maybe even working for himself with a bucket load of regular clients. A proper little couple with our own life in London.

“Wow! This is really nice!” I said to AJ, as we entered the hotel room.

He threw his holdall on the floor and wrapped his huge arms under mine and around my back, while looking at me lovingly. I pressed myself against him and sank into his huge mass. Would touching AJ ever not feel amazing, I wondered. I never, ever wanted to forget how this felt.

AJ leaned his face in to mine and kissed me passionately. As we kissed, I ran one of my hands through his freshly shaven hair.

“Fuuuck!” AJ hushed, as we parted lips. “I’ve been dying to do that all morning!” he said. I dreamily grinned back at my beautiful bodybuilder boyfriend. “Although I could have done it a lot sooner if you hadn’t spent half an hour in that Harry Potter shop at King’s Cross!”

I smirked and rolled my eyes. “I’m not apologising for my love of Harry Potter!” I firmly said.

“I just don’t remember there being any shredded bodybuilders at Hogwarts. Or any lime green posing trunks!”

I grinned ecstatically at AJ’s Hogwarts reference. “Wait - have you read the books?” I asked, feeling a twinge of excitement.

AJ screwed his face up. “NO!” he scoffed, as if the idea of him reading a book for pleasure would be ludicrous. “I’ve seen the films!”

I giggled and AJ took my hand and led me to the hotel bed. We fell on to it and he climbed on top of me. He grabbed my belt buckle and started to undo my belt and before I knew it my hard, throbbing cock was out and AJ was sucking me off. Fuuuuuck.

With my hand on his freshly shaved hair, AJ stopped sucking and looked up at me with a mischievous grin. “Can’t wait for you to see me pose on stage!” he cheekily said, giving my cock a firm squeeze. I grinned back at him and he took the head of my cock in his mouth and started to suck again. I groaned, while simultaneously picturing AJ flexing on stage at the bodybuilding show.

He stopped sucking and looked up at me again. “And I definitely want you to do that thing you did to me the other day in the shower, again!” he said. “After I’ve shown off what a pumped up little freak I am!”

And then he plunged down again, making a muffled groan. I giggled, but FUCK, it was so sexy hearing AJ talk that way.

“Oh God!” I groaned as I gripped on to his shaved head. “I think you’d better stop!” I exclaimed. AJ obeyed and looked at me again with the sexiest little grin.

“I wanna save it!” I told him, even though I was so close to blowing a load.

AJ climbed up the bed and lay down next to me, wrapping his enormous arms around me so I was snuggled into him. I literally couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. It felt like it was going to be the perfect weekend.

As AJ went to use the bathroom, I opened up my suitcase and retrieved a parcel. My stomach clenched as I pictured what was inside of it. When he came back to the room, I nervously handed it to him.

“What’s this?!” he asked, looking confused and suspicious.

I shrugged and gave him a sheepish smirk. My heartbeat quickened as AJ opened up the packet and his eyes widened to comical effect when he drew out the indecently shiny, hot pink posing trunks I’d ordered off the Internet the day after he’d told me about the bodybuilding show.

“OH MY GOD!” he said, holding them up. Even just seeing him holding the shiny, pink trunks in his hands was an obscenely hot image.

“No pressure to wear them today!” I said. “That’s not why I bought them! Just … thought you could do with another pair, like you said!”

“Awww, Noah!” he said to me. He looked genuinely touched. Meanwhile my insides were melting. As well as feeling pretty pleased with myself that my gift had gone down well. Is this how AJ had felt when he’d gifted me my bright blue Scorpio’s gym hoodie all those weeks ago?

“I love them!” AJ exclaimed, studying them. “And they’re pretty fucking hot!” he added, with a tone of surprise.

I gave him a wide eyed look and nodded as if to say, you’re telling me! I almost hadn’t been able to believe just how hot the posers were when I’d received them a few days before and I’d first taken them out of the packet. I had even been tempted to try the shiny fuckers on myself.

AJ jumped off the bed and stood in front of the mirror, putting the pink posers up to his groin over his jeans in the most adorable and sexiest manner. “My very own pink posing trunks! GRRRRR!”

Then he came back over to me and swooped me up in his arms. “Awww! Thanks, Cookie!” he said, as I buried my face into his neck and clung on to his back. I felt like I wanted to cry with happiness.

We stayed like that for a little while, just holding each other. “Mmmm. We should get going!” AJ finally said in my ear.

I retreated from his neck and gazed at him. He gave me a loving look and we kissed each other. When we parted lips, the corner of AJ’s mouth curled into this cheeky, little grin. “So …,” he began, in a mischievous tone, “ready to see a bunch of flexing, shredded muscle freaks?”

Thirty One

“OK, lads, you’re all signed in. Here are your backstage passes!”

OH FUCK! Yep. This is happening. This is actually fucking happening!

My head felt like it was going to explode when a guy at the venue of the bodybuilding show handed me and AJ each a backstage pass on a bright orange lanyard. I looked at AJ, who was giving me a mischievous, knowing smirk with a wide eyed look. He knew exactly what this meant to me, and how both excited and admittedly pretty nervous I must have been feeling in that moment.

I wrapped the lanyard around my neck and followed AJ, still in shock and disbelief at what was happening. That I, Noah Cook, who’d been fantasising about huge, shredded, competition conditioned muscle freaks since about the age of fifteen, was going backstage at an actual bodybuilding show with my actual bodybuilder boyfriend.

“Hmmm. I wonder how Mark’s looking?” AJ mysteriously said.

I shot him a confused look. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Scorpio’s resident muscle monster Mark Green is competing!”


“Ready to see the bodybuilder version of you in shredded, competition condition?” AJ asked me.

I bit my lip and grinned, internally melting at the reference to one of our old Facebook conversations. I suddenly recalled the day AJ had sent me a picture of local monster Mark Green, in all his bald, monstrous, daddy-esque glory, cranking out a most muscular on stage in his shiny purple posers. It felt like such a long time ago, even though it hadn’t been. So much had happened between me and AJ since that day.

I don’t think anything could have really prepared me for what it would be like to be  stood in a pump room backstage at a bodybuilding show. Everywhere I looked I saw huge, bronzed, shredded muscle freaks in tiny, colourful posing trunks. FUCK! Some were getting tanned up, some just standing around, some were pumping up with weights and a couple were even flexing and hitting poses (JESUS CHRIST)! I didn’t know where the fuck to look. I’m sure I must have looked like a rabbit in headlights. AJ, meanwhile, seemed to be getting a kick out of seeing my reaction as he was looking at me with this cheeky, knowing grin on his face.

Not only were the sights amazingly horny and surreal, but the whole room had this unique kind of energy. I could just feel the testosterone, heat, power and attitude which came from being in a room full of assorted, superhuman muscle monsters who’d pushed their bodies to unthinkable limits, and who just wanted to flex and pose and show off what indecently muscular freaks they’d become.

I’m sure I even noticed a few familiar faces amongst the competitors. I may have even wanked off over one or two of them in the past. And then, a man I very much recognised came waddling up to AJ and I. All 6’3, two hundred and fifty plus pounds of him. A man I’d met about a month ago in Scorpio’s Gym back home, and was now shredded to fuck and wearing nothing but a pair of shiny purple posing trunks. Presumably the same ones from the picture AJ had cheekily sent me over Facebook all those weeks ago.

Mark Green gave AJ a friendly squeeze on his shoulder as the two of them began to converse in conversation. All the time I just couldn’t stop staring at the mountain of shredded, tanned muscle I was suddenly inches away from. His tits were fucking HUGE. Just two thick plates of bronzed pec muscle hanging off his frame. Meanwhile, his shredded, wonky shaped abs protruded from his stomach and his ridiculously thick arms had these freakish veins running up and down them. Even his shiny purple posers were insanely hot close up.

“Mark, remember my mate, Noah, from Scorpio’s?”


“Oh, hey, mate!” Mark said casually

“Super Heavyweight competitors! All Super Heavyweight competitors! Can you queue up to hit the stage please?” announced a loud voice.

“That’s me, mate!” Mark announced.

“Good luck up there, dude!” AJ said. Mark gave me a friendly nod and then waddled off to the other end of the pump room, his shiny purple posers barely covering even a third of ginormous sized glutes. Jesus CHRIST!

AJ was just continuing to smirk at me. I playfully shook my head at him. “Shut it, you!” I quietly said, while grinning back.

A well built but fully clothed man wearing a similar lanyard to the one around my neck walked up to us, introduced himself as Larry and thanked AJ for agreeing to guest pose at the show. Apparently AJ would be hitting the stage in about half an hour, after the Super Heavyweight competitors had finished their prejudging round.

“Do you wanna use the tanning tents, AJ?” Larry asked.

“Can my friend come with me?” AJ asked. My chest expanded. Oh fuck. Was I about to help my cute, bodybuilder boyfriend tan up before he went out on to a bodybuilding stage?

“Sure!” Larry replied, casually.

Answer: yes, I bloody was. FUUUUCKKK!!

AJ shot me a wide eyed look as Larry led us to the tanning tents. I didn’t really have time to form much of a picture in my mind of where we were heading. It all happened so quickly. But I presumed I was about to witness a bunch of shredded muscle monsters standing in some tenets getting sprayed with bronzed competition tan. What I hadn’t expected to be faced with, almost the second we entered the area, was a bodybuilder with his back to us, and his gigantic sized arse on full, naked display. FUCKING HELL!

It became apparent that not even posing trunks were common attire when getting spray tanned for a bodybuilding show. Some of the lads were wearing these sort of paper-like black posing pouches with ridiculously thin straps which looked like they were made from a bin bag. Other competitors were just were stark bollock naked, with their arses on show and clutching their dicks with their hands. I wondered whether AJ was about to get naked too.

I was about find out, because his bag was on the floor and he was removing his t-shirt and then his gorgeous, thick pecs and blocky abs, which looked just a little more shredded than they’d been earlier in the week (FUCK!) were suddenly on full display. Then AJ took his trackies off and he was standing in nothing but a pair of crisp white, tight fitted boxer shorts, which contrasted with his already tanned skin.

I didn’t know what AJ had done during the previous few days leading up to the competition, but he looked fuller and more pumped than ever. I wasn’t sure whether it was being in the setting of a pump room at a bodybuilding show, but there was a definite air of cockiness about AJ. I could tell he was getting a kick out of the whole thing.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but feel a buzz from seeing AJ’s body in a public setting. Even though I’d seen that body a dozen times before in the weeks leading up to the show. Been intertwined with it. Cuddled up to it. Done things to it that no one else had ever done before.

I had no idea what AJ’s next move would be. Was he really about to get naked in a room full of strangers? Granted, strangers who were all very busy either getting their freakishly muscular, competition ready bodies tanned up, or the lucky buggers doing the tanning.

AJ turned around and reached into his bag, pulled something out, and starting playing with his boxers. What the fuck?! Then he turned back to me face me again and my heart jumped into my throat when he pulled down his underwear to reveal he was wearing nothing but a black sock over his cock. I looked at him wide eyed, both amused and shocked. It was such a cute, but also fucking horny image. AJ in a public setting, wearing nothing but a sock covering his cock. Ready to be tanned up by me.

All the while, he had this mischievous, smug grin on his face. The cocky little bugger. I followed him to a free tanning tent, and when he spun around I swear I fucking blushed, because there it was; AJ’s big, beefy, gorgeous arse on full, outrageous, naked display, for everyone in the tanning area to ogle at. Fucking GRRRRR!

Several weeks ago I was checking out that arse bulging out of AJ’s Tesco work trousers, and now here I was, watching it bounce and jiggle in all its naked glory as I followed him to a tent where I was about to tan him up in preparation for stepping on to a bodybuilding stage.

AJ stood in the tanning tent, and I started to do my job. It was such a fucking rush. Not only was I backstage at a bodybuilding show surrounded by the kind of competition conditioned muscle freaks I’d spent years blasting loads over, some of them fucking naked as they got tanned up, but I was inches away from one very such bodybuilder, who was wearing nothing but a sock crazily covering his dangly bits.

It was insane how much AJ’s body transformed as I worked the spray tan over his physique. His abs become more shredded, the lines in his quads became more prominent. FUCK! I literally watched him transform into the tanned up muscle freak whose photo I’d wanked off over just a few months before. Only a little less shredded. It was so insanely fucking erotic. Not least of all when AJ spun around and I was suddenly faced with the task of tanning up his bare naked arse. I kept wondering whether people were looking at me, and could tell from my flustered face that my feeling towards the bodybuilder I was tanning up were not exactly platonic.

All the time I was tanning him, AJ had this smug grin on his face. He was absolutely fucking loving it. When we were done, the transformation from lightly tanned AJ to competition bronzed AJ was so extreme that I actually started to feel a little shy in his presence.

And as if he hadn’t looked hot enough, AJ then fetched his shiny, lime green posing trunks out of his bag and put them on, removing the sock once he’d buried himself in the pouch. Just to complete the look which literally turned me on more than any other image in the world. FUCK!

I didn’t even care that he wasn’t wearing the new, hot pink posers I’d gifted him earlier that day, even though in the lead up to show there had been a part of me that had been wondering if, even hoping that, he would be brave enough to wear them on stage.

“Hey, I’ll be on soon! You should head out to the theatre!” the fully tanned up, posing trunk wearing version of AJ said.

My stomach tightened. I had known that at some point I was going to be sat alone watching the bodybuilding show, but I still felt nervous at the prospect of doing so. I nodded at AJ and he could clearly sense my apprehension.

“You gonna be okay?! I would come out but, I’m not sure they’d let me looking like this!” he said, giving me a cheeky grin.

I couldn’t help but giddily grin. “I’ll text you in a bit!” he told me, with smirking mischievously.

And so I left my fully tanned up bodybuilder boyfriend in his shiny, lime green posing trunks in the pump room and headed out to take my seat at my very first bodybuilding show.

One of the things I had always feared about going to one such competition was that people would be giving me strange looks, and wondering what a slim built guy like me was doing at such an event. Making my way through the seating though, I realised those fears were completely ridiculous.

Not only because half of the audience seemed to be regular sized, non muscle freaks, but because I was suddenly questioning who the fuck would look at, or pay any attention to little old me when there was a bunch of shredded muscle freaks on stage flexing in tiny, shiny posers? FUCK!

As I took my seat next to a rather hot, meathead looking guy, who paid absolutely no attention to me whatsoever, the commentator called for the five competitors at the front of the stage to hit a front double bicep pose in a strong Yorkshire accent.

I watched in awe and amazement as ten huge, bronzed biceps blew up on stage and from one of the competitors, came a loud audible grunt. FUCKING HELL! As I studied the tan drenched muscle freaks more closely, I suddenly realised I was very familiar with more than one of them.

Standing second from the left was Liam “The Guns” Watson, an absolutely gorgeous British muscle bull famous for his insanely sized biceps, wearing a pair of the shiniest bright blue posing trunks imaginable. And right next to him, smack bang in the middle of the line up, was the man I’d chatted to backstage not half an hour before. Scorpio’s resident muscle monster daddy Mark Green looking bigger, freakier and even more shredded under the hot, bright lights of the stage.

It was when the bodybuilders were instructed to hit a front lat spread that I realised who was responsible for the earlier grunt. None other than Liam “The Guns” Watson, who hit his front lat spread with a similar loud noise. I had always wondered whether I’d get a hard on in the setting of a bodybuilding show, sitting in a theatre packed full of strangers. I now knew the answer and it was a resounding yes. My dick was clearly hard wired to become erect whenever I saw such images of freaky muscle. No matter where I was or who was around me.

Just as the commentator called for the bodybuilders to hit a side chest pose, my phone vibrated in my pocket. My heart fluttered and I grinned excitedly. Because I knew straight away who it was.

“Have you spunked in your undies yet?”

I bit my lip to suppress a chuckle and dreamily gazed at AJ’s text on my phone.

“Hehe! No but I genuinely think I might do in a minute! Liam “The Guns” Watson keeps grunting with every bloody pose!” I replied.

AJ sent through an emoji. The little monkey covering his mouth, followed by a message. “Want me to have a word with him backstage? Oi! Watson! Stop trying to make my boyfriend cum in his pants. That’s MY job!” And then he sent through the AJ emoji.

I wanted to melt. It was the first time either of us had actually used the word boyfriend.

“Hehe!! Are you excited about going on stage?” I typed.

“Hell yeah!! But a little nervous too!” And then AJ sent the blushing face with eyes wide open emoji.

I had the overwhelming urge to run backstage just so I could give him a big hug, before running back to my seat, probably with bronzed competition tan all down the front my clothes.

“Awwww! Baby! You’re gonna be awesome!” I typed. “You look fucking INSANE tanned up by the way!”

Three dots.

“Hehe! I thought it might have freaked you out? You went all quiet on me!”

“NO! Sorry! I was, erm…just struggling a bit!!” And then I sent the blushing face emoji.

“Haha! GRRRRRR!! Can’t wait to flex for ya later!”

I started typing, but another message came through. “By the way, I usually feel really horny when I’ve come off stage!”


I started typing again but he sent another message. “Shit! They’re calling me! Gotta go!”

“OMG!! Eeeeek! Good luck!” I messaged.

“And your final pose, lads,” the commentator called. “Most muscular!”


HOLY FUCK!! My hard on juddered as Mark Green, Liam Watson and three of the other biggest monsters in the competition belted out their crab most musculars, Liam releasing his loudest and most outrageous groan yet, and a few of the other lads joining in with the grunting.

“And that concludes the prejudging, folks!”

As all of the bodybuilders made their way off the stage, my chest tightened and my stomach twisted in knots, because I knew exactly what was coming next.

“Right, folks, we have the first of our guest posers this afternoon. This young fella won his regional juniour bodybuilding category back in May. He’s come all the way down from a town called Little Denton to be with us today. Please put your hands together and give some support to AJ Jones.”

Thirty Two

I honestly didn’t know what was more responsible for my heart jumping into my throat; just the sole image of seeing AJ waddling out on stage with the cheekiest grin on his oh-so gorgeous face and giving an adorable little wave to a suddenly cheering audience, or the fact that, in between the time I’d left him backstage and now, he’d made the decision to take off his beloved lime green posing trunks and put on the shiny, hot pink pair I’d bought and gifted to him earlier that day instead. FUCK!!

I’d expected to feel a lot of things seeing AJ on an actual bodybuilding stage. Excitement, arousal, surrealism. All of which I was very much experiencing in that moment. But never did I expect to feel pride. Because that was my boyfriend up there. My sweet, gorgeous, wonderful boyfriend, who’d I’d spent the last few months falling in love with, tanned up and ready to show off his outrageously muscular physique for an audience of muscle hungry spectators, all ready to marvel at the pumped up, beautifully bronzed bodybuilder on stage.

As AJ reached the middle of the stage, his posing music started playing and my heart felt like it was about to burst with joy. I couldn’t believe it. It was the early noughties dance song that had been playing in AJ’s car the night he’d gifted me my Scorpio’s hoodie. That amazing night where we’d drank in his bedroom, started to open up to each other and his leg had pushed up against mine and he hadn’t moved it. The night where I’d realised that there was actually a chance that AJ Jones might reciprocate my feelings for him. It may have been coincidence, but something told me that AJ had chosen it because it reminded him of that particular evening. And because it reminded him of me.

I watched on as AJ blew up his bronzed biceps to the loud cheers of the audience. The look on his face was so fucking cute and endearing. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. The way he excitedly grinned at the audience response. And then I watched on as my bodybuilder boyfriend continued to hit pose after pose in the shiny pink posers I’d bought him. A front lat spread, a side chest, a side tricep. All with that cute, proud grin etched on his painfully gorgeous face as he indulged in one of the things he loved the most; flexing his outrageously developed muscles for an adoring audience of spectators. I felt so much love and affection for him in that moment it was overwhelming.

AJ then spun around and hit a back lat spread. It was so surreal to see the thick lats I’d squeezed and held onto a dozen times in his bedroom, flexed on stage for an audience of hundreds to marvel at. Not to mention the thick, overdeveloped glutes that made up his cute, perfectly round and indecently muscular arse, now encased in the gloriously shiny material of his brand new trunks. I couldn’t help smirking at the memory at what I’d done to that arse in AJ’s shower just a few days before.

AJ spun back around to face his audience with both of his arms flung behind the back of his head. With his face was animatedly scrunched up, AJ crunched down into an abs and thighs pose. The gorgeous little ab blocks sitting on his tummy popped out, looking more prominent and shredded than I’d ever seen them in real life, as they glistened under the stage lights with the bronzed competition tan I’d sprayed them with backstage.

Flinging his arms back to the front, AJ cheekily scrunched up his face even more as he gripped his right hand over his left wrist and hit a quick, hard most muscular pose, his delts and upper arms exploding in the most insane fashion.

But even though I loved the air of cheekiness my boyfriend was displaying on stage, I couldn’t help noticing that he wasn’t posing with even half of the cocky attitude I’d seen in the Facebook pictures of him in competition. Or even when he’d been flexing for me in his bedroom.

Maybe he only saved that for his actual competitions when he was in super shredded condition? I suddenly remembered what he’d said to me in his bedroom that one time. That he doesn’t plan to be cocky on stage. That he gets a bit carried away and it just sort of happens. Maybe for whatever reason, AJ just wasn’t feeling like being particularly cocky on this occasion?

The music quickly faded and I felt a stab of disappointment. It had been so inexplicably awesome and surreal to see AJ on stage, tanned and flexing in the shiny pink posers I’d bought him. But I couldn’t help feeling that the whole thing had been a little brief.

I was fully expecting AJ to give another adorable wave and waddle off stage to an uproar of cheers, but something else happened instead. AJ bent down and knelt on the stage with one knee with his head down. My stomach twinged with excitement. What was going on?!

And then another song kicked in. A deep, aggressive, throbbing beat. I think it may have been a Prodigy song. AJ then lifted his head up to face the audience, mouthing the lyrics to the song that was playing. Gone was the cheeky, excited grin he’d been wearing earlier, and in it’s place, an aggressive bordering on animalistic grimace. FUCKING HELL!

AJ then stood up, before leaning forwards into a huge, trap exploding crab most muscular, his eyes jammed shut and his mouth wide open in the most animated fashion. More arrogant and attitude packed than any expression he’d displayed when flexing for me in his bedroom. JESUS CHRIST!

The crowd went absolutely crazy. When he relaxed from the pose, the cheeky grin was back. Bigger than ever. There was no question about it. AJ was absolutely loving being ogled and cheered on by the audience. He then moved to the right side of the stage and cranked out an abs and thighs with his tongue cheekily stuck out, before waddling to the left and blasting out a front double bicep pose. His face arrogantly scrunched up while releasing a deep, loud growl as his guns erupted either side of his face. “ARRRRGGHHH!”

I couldn’t fucking believe it. The earlier posing had clearly just been a warm up. I looked on in complete awe. I was excited. Even a little intimidated. But fucking hell was I aroused.

I just couldn’t help thinking how insane it was that the tanned up bodybuilder who was ripping up the stage, hitting pose after pose, scrunching up his face, sticking out his tongue and grunting and growling as he displayed the most brilliantly cocky attitude conceivable was my fucking boyfriend.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, it did. A grinning, over excited looking AJ climbed down the stairs of the stage and waddled into the audience. Fuuuuuck! Everyone rose to their feet to get a glimpse of the flexing muscle freak, and I followed suit. I didn’t know why, but I felt immediately nervous at the prospect of AJ coming towards me. What would he do if he got near me? Acknowledge me? Crank out a pose in front of me? And how the fuck would I react if he did? Turn into a quivering wreck, spunk my fucking pants on the spot, or maybe even both?

As I watched everyone gawp at AJ as he cheekily hit poses in front of people, I couldn’t help being reminded of the video I’d watched of Blaine Holton guest posing that morning I’d first bumped into AJ in the meat aisle of Tesco a few months ago.
I’d wondered then what must have been going through Blaine’s mind as he flexed and squeezed his obscene mass for an audience of adoring spectators. And now I was wondering the very same thing about my boyfriend; what was going through AJ’s head as people crowded round him, took pictures with him, all wanting to be close to the muscle freak and watch him flex in his shiny pink posers?

He’d already told me how much of a rush it was to flex at a bodybuilding show. But I had a feeling that no matter how he described it to me, I’d never really know just what that rush felt like. Perhaps just like AJ would never really know what a rush it was for me to be in such close proximity to the thing that turned me on more than anything in the world. To touch and worship, even just to witness the huge flexing muscle of a real life bodybuilder.

AJ had moved towards the back of the theatre, completely bypassing the area I was seated. I turned to try and get a glimpse of him through the sea of audience members. AJ seemed to be walking around the auditorium in a circle. And then my stomach clenched when I realised that he was starting to walk down the aisle my seat was one from the end of. Fuck!

Sure enough, before long, he was making his way towards me. Strutting down the aisle, stopping to take a picture with a rather fit, meathead-looking bloke. He started walking again, then stopped to crank out a crab most muscular right in front of some poor, unsuspecting guy who was probably battling a massive sized erection at that very moment.

And then AJ was on the move again, and he was coming straight towards me. FUCK! Why was I so nervous? It was fucking crazy. It was AJ. But then, it wasn’t. I’d never really seen this version of him before. Fully tanned up in his shiny pink posers. Flexing and putting on a show for a whole theatre full of people. Commanding their attention and owning the whole room with his crazy sized muscles and attitude packed posing. And clearly loving every fucking second of it.

AJ stopped just a few metres away from me, everyone around me looking in his direction. With a cheeky glint in his eyes and his face beaming with excitement and joy, he tucked his thumbs under the straps of his posers and pulled them up and he blasted out a front lat spread pose. Everyone whooped and cheered around me as he shut one eye and cheekily stuck his tongue out. And I couldn’t but smirk, because in that moment, his expression looked just like the one in the AJ emoji.

I wasn’t initially sure whether he’d spotted me, but he must have done at some point, because as he jogged passed me, without any eye contact, AJ gave me a cheeky tap on the shoulder, my whole body experiencing a sudden jolt of excitement in response.

No one seemed to register or notice, because no one was looking at me. They were all too busy marvelling at the gorgeous, cocky muscle freak as he jogged back towards the stage, which he climbed on to and finished his guest posing spot with a final few attitude packed most muscular, his mouth wide open again, while arrogantly groaning and roaring to his adoring audience.

And I just watched on, in disbelief that the bodybuilder everyone was cheering at was the man I’d spent the past few months falling in love with. The man who, against all odds, had pretty big feelings for me too. I didn’t really know whether AJ was in love with me. It didn’t really seem to matter that much, because I had a feeling he would be soon, if not now.

It wasn’t until about twenty minutes and the show part of the competition had started, the stage filled up with nasty, grunting muscle daddies, that the seat next to me became occupied.

AJ had this incredibly cheeky grin on his face as he walked up to me and sat down. It was fucking absurd but I felt weirdly shy in his presence. Even after all the time we’d spent together, all the things we’d done. I was almost overwhelmed with just how attracted I was to him in that moment, as he sat down in his black t-shirt and trackies, his ridiculously huge arms, neck and face now bronzed with proper bodybuilding competition tan. He looked like a proper, full blown bodybuilder. A genuine muscle freak. I felt like I could have exploded in my jeans right there and then.

“How was I?” he cheekily said, leaning in and beaming at me.

I felt so fucking sheepish and nervous in his presence and I hated it. “Really good!” I replied, my voice cracking a little. Ugh! It was such a shit response.

Still grinning, AJ shot me a confused look. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah!” I replied, still feeling ridiculously nervous. 

AJ just flashed me this warm, knowing grin. I didn’t have to say anything or explain myself. He clearly just knew what I was going through. It made me relax instantly and I managed to sheepishly grin back at him, all the time thinking how much I wanted to be alone with him. To be able to touch and kiss the insanely hot, bronzed bodybuilder in the seat adjacent to mine.

As the top four bodybuilders in the Masters category all hit a side chest pose, I felt a surge of bravery. Still looking straight ahead, I leaned towards AJ. “Nice trunks, by the way!”

I could see him looking at me and smiling out of the corner of my eye. “Thanks! Some little cutie gave them to me!” he said in a hushed voice. I bit my lip and caught his eye, both of us grinning at each other.

“I changed after you left! Wanted it to be a surprise!” AJ explained. I grinned and nodded. And then he said something which set my heart thumping. “I’ve still got ‘em on, by the way!” he then added. Fuuuuck! The thought of those pink posers hiding under AJ’s trackies was so unspeakably hot.

“Good song choices, too!” I said, a little nervously.

He grinned at me again. “The first one kinda reminds me of someone,” he said, in a hushed voice. “Also a little cutie!”

I bit my lip and dreamily grinned. I wanted so much to wrap my arm around AJ’s neck in that moment and nuzzle into his body. To show the whole auditorium that the bodybuilder they’d been going nuts over was mine. To show them how much this gorgeous, amazing man meant to me.

Neither of us spoke again for a while after that. I just sat there watching the assorted freaks and monsters flex and pose and grunt on stage as various people called out their names in the audience in support, all the time feeling the most incredible buzz at being joined by AJ and thinking about what he’d said to me. That he’d chosen the song because it had reminded him of me. That he was still wearing his shiny pink posing trunks underneath his trackies (fuck). And how he’d adorably referred to me as a “little cutie”.

Watching the actual bodybuilding show was a unique experience. It was odd, because I was watching the kind of tanned up, shredded monsters in shiny, colourful posers who turned me on to such an insane degree. But I wasn’t in the comfort of my bedroom, alone and horny where I could do whatever I wanted like I usually was when I was watching flexing bodybuilders. I was in a public place. A packed theatre full of complete strangers. What was usually an incredibly erotic experience for me, suddenly wasn’t. And yet, that still didn’t stop me from swelling in my jeans at various points in the show. I guess the way I get a hard on the bus or the tube, or in class whenever my mind slips to muscle.

Weight class after weight class rolled out on stage, the bodybuilders getting bigger and freakier with each one. Some bodybuilders were obscenely hot. Some outrageously cocky. Some wearing the shiniest, nastiest posers possible. But all the while, I couldn’t help thinking that, while it was a unique and interesting experience to witness real life bodybuilders in competition, what was really setting my heart racing, what was there, constantly on my mind of every second I was at the show, was the fact that I had my very own huge, gorgeous bodybuilder right there next to me, and the rest of the night we had to spend together after the show had finished.

Just as the competitors of the Heavyweight class strutted and waddled out on stage, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Thinking nothing of it, I took it out to check my notifications and my chest swelled up when I saw the name on my screen. The way it always did when AJ messaged me. I glanced over at him and he shot me this smug little smirk.

I examined my screen closer to read what he’d text me.

“If I don’t kiss you soon I think I might explode!”

Fuuuuck! I felt like I’d levitated from my fucking seat. I somewhat shyly looked at the fully bronzed bodybuilder next to me. He was biting his lip and looking so fucking smug and pleased with himself. I literally couldn’t stop smiling. God. I wanted so badly to kiss him too. And to touch him. I wondered in that moment whether I could actually get away with brushing my leg against his. The way we did at the back row of the dimly lit cinema.

I started to text AJ back.

“Hey, I’m not stopping you. Go for it!” And then I followed it up with the AJ emoji.

I glanced over and watched AJ’s mouth curl into this big, gorgeous grin as he read my text. Then he looked up at me, playfully rolled his eyes and gave me a look as it say, yeah, right! before tapping away at his phone again.

My phone vibrated in my hand and I excitedly looked at the screen.

“Remember when I said I usually feel really horny when I come off stage?”

Fuck! I’m sure I started blushing. I text him back, my heart thumping. “I, erm...vaguely recall!”

AJ let out a little chuckle as he read my message and started to tap at his phone again.

“Well you’ll never guess what?” And then he followed it with the monkey covering his mouth emoji, and the blushing face.

I beamed as I read the message and looked over at him. He gave me this insanely sexy look, as if to say, I’m horny as fuck and this is bloody torture, and I just grinned back at him, my hard on throbbing in my jeans.

I started to text him back. I was feeling mischievous. “Toilets in 5 minutes?” I typed, with the aubergine and water splash emojis.

AJ laughed quietly as he read my message.

“Do not tempt me! GRRRR!! Can’t wait to get you back to that hotel!”

“Can we teleport there NOW?!” I messaged back.

He looked at me and beamed. Just as the Heavyweight monsters were crunching down into abs and thighs poses on stage with assorted grunts and hisses, I tapped at my phone and composed another text to AJ.

“I can’t believe you’ve still got your pink posers on!”

AJ tapped away as I watched a dozen shredded abs crunch on stage. “EURGHH!” “HSSSSSS!” I tore my eyes away and checked my phone the second AJ’s reply came through.

“Are you kidding me?! My Little Cookie bought me these! I’m never taking them off!”

As I melted into my seat, I looked up at AJ, but he initially wasn’t looking back at me. Almost like he felt too shy to do so. He looked a little sheepish and when he finally turned to glance at me, his mouth curled into this cute little grin.

I love you so much, I felt like messaging back, but I didn’t. In fact, I didn’t reply to that message, because my mind was now focused on something else. How much I wanted to be back at that hotel room with AJ.

I sat and watched the six Heavyweight muscle monsters on stage cranking out simultaneous most musculars. “ARGGHH!” “EURRGHH!” “YEEAAHH!!”

As the crowd cheered around me, I leaned into AJ. “Wanna go?” I asked, quietly.

AJ shot me a surprised but excited look. “You sure?” he asked. “We’ll miss Mark and Liam!”

I gave a little shrug and AJ bit his lip and giddily grinned. Mark Green, Liam “The Guns” Watson and the rest of the Super Heavyweight competitors hadn’t taken to the stage again for the finals yet, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to be alone with the man I was in love with. I was about to get exactly what I wanted.

Beaming at me with an excitable grin, AJ cocked his head towards the exit. My insides felt like they were exploding as he said two single words to me. “Let’s go!”

Thirty Three

Every time I’d been out in public with AJ I had felt the most incredible rush at being in the company of a man so outrageously muscular. But never more so than when I was stood next to him on the tube on the way back to our hotel room, having been at my very first bodybuilding show, where I’d witnessed him guest posing on stage.

Standing so close to my gorgeous bodybuilder boyfriend who I just couldn’t wait to be alone with on a packed train, who was obscenely bronzed with competition tan and bulging out of his black t-shirt, knowing his shiny, hot pink posing trunks were lurking under his trackies was such an intensely exciting experience. 

AJ was definitely receiving more glances and lingering looks from the other train passengers than he had the previous times we’d caught the tube that day. I couldn’t help getting a kick out of it. All of those regular sized, non bronzed people staring at the huge, brown freak and his abnormal sized arms. It was so crazy to see the contrast of AJ and the other people around me. Everyone in the carriage just looked like normal human beings. While AJ looked like something else entirely. Almost superhuman. I could tell from his smug expression that he was getting a massive kick out of it too.

Half way through the journey, this cute, geeky gay guy in black framed specs got on board and sat down close to where we were standing. I’d never seen anyone stare at AJ in such a blatant manner before. He looked curious, a little intimated, even a little star struck. It was like he literally couldn’t take his eyes off the gorgeous, bronzed bodybuilder standing next to me. This guy was a complete stranger, and yet, I felt an instant connection with him.

“I think you’ve got an admirer!” I said to AJ quietly.

AJ’s grin grew wider and he cheekily wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

“Shall I flex for him?” AJ said.

I grinned and rolled my eyes. When I looked back at the guy, he was still staring. Not just at AJ, but at both of us.

“Maybe just a cheeky bicep flex?” he asked.

My eyes widened as if to say, don’t you dare, even though a part of him would have actually loved for AJ to do that. I wouldn’t have put it passed him either.

“How about a pec bounce?” he then outrageously suggested.

And before I could respond, AJ was doing exactly that. He thick chest bouncing and rippling underneath the material of his t-shirt, in front of a whole fucking tube carriage of passengers. Part of me wanted to die of embarrassment. The other part loved it so much I could barely fucking breathe.

I couldn’t look at AJ’s admirer after that, but when the train reached our stop, I turned my head to find his eyes still following us as we departed the train, and I noticed something in his expression that made my heart feel like it had been pinched. This incredible sense of longing. Like he wanted his own cute, pec bouncing bodybuilder boyfriend for himself. I couldn’t help but hope that he’d one day find exactly that.

Walking back to the hotel with AJ was almost as big of a rush as being with him on the tube. After we’d turned a corner where there were no cars or people, just buildings and block of flats, with the hotel right at the end of the street, AJ did something I never thought he would in public. He gently grabbed my hand and squeezed it, wrapping his fingers in between mine.

It felt like my feet had left the fucking ground. It was the first time I’d ever held hands with a guy in public. What a fucking rush to be walking along a public street hand in hand with the man I loved, who just happened to be an abnormally muscular, bronzed painted bodybuilder.

“Are you gonna do this back in Little Denton too?” I playfully asked him, grinning.

AJ shrugged. “Maybe!” he said with a cheeky grin. I rolled my eyes as if to say, yeah fucking right. But even if I didn’t believe he would, it was still an incredibly sweet sentiment.

Predictably, and perhaps sensibly, AJ let go of my hand as we walked into the hotel. As soon as we were in the lift that took to us to our floor and the doors were closed, AJ dropped his bag, forcefully wrapped his arms around me and passionately kissed me. Fuuuuck.

Neither of us could stop grinning as we walked to our room. The corridor was empty, so when AJ was opening the door, I bravely pushed my torso into his back and wrapped my arms around his waist, my throbbing hard on pushing into his arse. He turned his head and looked at me wide eyed, grinning and biting his lip. Excited at my bravery and clearly getting a kick out of what we were doing.

As soon as we were in the room and the door was closed, my back was pushed up against it and AJ was sinking his mass into my body with his tongue in my mouth once again. It was so fucking passionate and intense. It honestly felt like neither of us had wanted each other more than in that moment.

As we parted lips, I looked at his gorgeous, bronzed face and shook my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe how fucking hot you look!” I said.

He beamed at me and wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ll have to tan up more often!”

I bit my lip and just grinned at him, my torso still pressed against his, just melting into his muscle. “Oh, and thanks for tanning up my arse, by the way!” he cheekily said.

My eyes widened and I grinned at the memory of AJ’s bare buttocks in the tanning tent. “I liked the cock-in-the-sock look!” I told him.

AJ giggled. “Dare you to wear that outfit for your next Tesco shift!” I said.

AJ tipped his head back and laughed. “They’d definitely fire me, then!”

I just shrugged and grinned. Perfect! Then you’d have to come down to London and live with me, I thought. But I didn’t dare say it. I just kissed him again. Slowly but passionately. My hands running over his back, down his shoulders and gripping his indecently sized arms.

When we parted lips, my hand was still clutching his bicep. AJ was looking at me in the sexiest way. He looked down at the bicep I was gripping and bit his lip in the insanely hot manner he always did.

As he mischievously gripped his fist and flexed, one of AJ’s freakishly sized, beautifully bronzed, marble-to-the-touch biceps erupted underneath my fingertips. Fuuuuuck. The very same bicep I’d just watched a whole theatre full of people gawp at, cheer and go crazy over. And now it was mine. To do whatever I wanted to do with it.

Without thinking, I leant in, drawing my face closer to AJ’s upper arm, placed my lips on the exploding ball of bronzed bicep muscle and gently kissed it. “Mmmm,” AJ cheekily groaned in response. I kissed it again, feeling the huge muscle underneath my lips and tongue. AJ gently placed his hand on the back of my head as I did so. When I looked at him, he had this cute, excitable grin on his face. He clearly loved me kissing and worshipping his bicep with my mouth.

I tugged at the bottom of AJ’s t-shirt and helped him lift it up and over his head. I’d almost forgotten how insane AJ’s physique looked so bronzed up. A little more shredded than usual, it looked closer to the type of muscle freaks I regularly blew loads over then it ever had. It was like an upgraded version of the body I loved and was so used to seeing. A bronzed painted bodybuilder right in front of me to explore and worship and touch.

I took my face and lips to AJ’s huge chest, licking and kissing the thick cushions of bulging pec muscle. Then I made my way down his six pack, kissing each gorgeous bubble of bronzed ab muscle, much like I did that very first time we’d slept together in AJ’s bedroom, before kneeling on the floor and grabbing the waistband of AJ’s trackies.

I pulled them down and was met with the shiny pink material of his posing trunks, now stretched by AJ’s hard on, just mere inches away from my face. I squeezed on his hard dick through the shiny pink material of his posers, AJ groaning in response as I continued to tug and squeeze. When I looked up, I saw the most erotic image; AJ flexing his right bicep, looking down and admiring it as he did. FUCK! I got the sense that it wasn’t even for me. That he was flexing for his own enjoyment. It was probably one of the cockiest (and sexiest) things I’d ever seen.

I took AJ’s cock out of it’s shiny, pink posing trunk wrapper and began to suck on it, as AJ groaned and gripped my shoulder blades and ran his fingers through my hair. When I stood up, AJ helped me remove my clothes until I was fully naked. I wrapped my arms around his back and sunk into his bronzed, muscular torso. My hard on pressed tightly against his posing trunk covered cock.

An idea suddenly came into my head. I looked at AJ cautiously. “Can I wear your lime green posers?” I asked.

AJ was beaming. He looked excited as hell. “YEAH! Of course!” he said enthusiastically, clearly loving the idea.

I grinned excitedly as AJ retrieved the shiny lime green trunks I loved so much from his bag. “Kinky little fucker!” he playfully said to me as he walked back over.

Instead of just handing me the green trunks though, AJ held them out, stretching one leg hole, and signalling for me to climb in. I dizzily grinned, held on to one of AJ’s huge shoulders and put my leg in. Then I did the same with the other. I didn’t know why, but it felt like such a special and intimate moment. AJ dressing me with his shiny, lime green posers.

Still hanging on to him, AJ made a “GRRRRR!” noise as he pulled the straps up over my throbbing hard on, squishing it into the material with his hands. He chuckled as he admired the view. “There’s no WAY you’d get away with wearing those on stage!” he said.

And he was right. My hard on was comically tenting the trunks to an outrageous degree. It felt so fucking horny, not just to be wearing actual bodybuilder’s posing trunks, but a pair of AJ’s.

I giddily grinned and he gripped and squeezed my cock and I groaned and sank into AJ again. “So what was it like seeing me up on stage?” he cheekily asked in my ear.

I looked up at him, grinned and shook my head in disbelief for effect. “Fucking … AMAZING! And bonkers!”

AJ beamed at my response. “Although … I was kinda disappointed you didn’t take your posers off, whip them round your head and throw them at me in the audience!” I said, remembering our conversation over Facebook when he’d teased he’d do that very thing.

“Fuck! I knew there was something I’d left out!” he joked.

I giggled in response. “You were so fucking cocky, though!”

“Mmmm. Well I may have being trying to impress someone in the audience!”

I grinned, still with my body pushed against AJ’s. “What was it like?” I asked, curiously. “Being on stage? Posing in the audience?” I felt a flutter of excitement as I waited for AJ’s reply.

His mouth curled into this excited, cheeky grin. He shook his head. “Such a fucking rush!” he said, with conviction. “It was crazy. Everyone staring at me. Watching me flex!”

Fuck! My insides were going crazy and my hard on was juddering underneath AJ’s lime green posers.

“Yeah?” I asked. AJ knew I was both genuinely curious, and also getting a massive kick out of hearing him being so candidly.

“Mmmm! I felt like a freak!”


“You are a freak!” I joked.

AJ grinned wildly, and looked down to admire his physique. “Hell yeah!” he cheekily said. “Noah’s little muscle freak!” he added, giving me this adorable, loving grin.

I grinned and kissed him. “So … do you ever get horny when you flex?” I asked, a little warily when our lips had parted.

AJ grinned mischievously. “Yeah!” he said, with conviction. ”I think most bodybuilders do!”

“Fuck!” I exclaimed, gripping onto AJ’s body. “That’s fucking … HOT!“ I said.

He bit his lip and gave me another one of his insanely sexy looks. Then he arrogantly pursed his lips and curled his bicep into a flex. I released a little groan and squeezed onto the bulging, bronzed muscle pulsating under his skin.

“Look at THAT!” AJ said, in a hushed voice, looking down at his own bicep muscle. Fuck! It was such an outrageous thing to say. I beamed and squeezed it further.

“It’s fucking HUGE!” AJ cheekily exclaimed.

“Fuck yeah!” I exclaimed enthusiastically, my heart thumping at AJ’s sudden cockiness.

AJ then contorted his face into a cocky grimace as he lifted both of his biceps up into a front double bicep pose and outrageously growled. “FUCK!” I exclaimed, as I ran my fingers over the insane, bronzed peaks and squeezed.

“YEARGHH!!” AJ growled, really fucking getting into it. It was the most mind bogglingly horny thing to witness. AJ playing the part of a cocky, flexing bodybuilder, getting off on his own outrageously developed muscle.

“You’re a monster!” I exclaimed, feeding his ego and playing along, AJ’s mouth curling into an excitable and amused grin in response.

“Wait till you see me in a few years’ time!” he said with a cheeky grin. My heart was bursting, partly at the idea of AJ growing bigger and becoming even more of a freak, but mostly at the suggestion that AJ and I would still be together in a few years time.

Relaxing from his pose, AJ then bought his fists together into a quick, most muscular with his face arrogantly screwed up. He released a hot, deep grunt as his muscles tightened and erupted before my eyes and I frantically ran my hands over the flexed mounds of mass bulging off his body.

As I squeezed his perfectly shaped muscle tits, AJ flexed and squeezed again, with his fists together and let out a cocky, “YEEEAH!!” AJ couldn’t seem to stop flexing. He bought both of his elbows up, looked at me with a sexy, mischievous glare, playfully shook his head like, get ready for this one, then cranked out a crab most muscular with a half-pant, half-growl while outrageously sticking his tongue out. Just like he’d done at his guest posing spot on a bodybuilding stage just hours earlier.

With AJ squeezing, I frantically ran my hands over his skin popping biceps, brutally sized, boulder shoulders and up to the huge, bronzed traps erupting from his neck. He then bought his arms and elbows up again and squeezed back down into his most aggressive and attitude packed most muscular yet. Screwing up his face to brilliant effect and releasing a loud, grizzly growl. “ARGGGHHH!” It was the craziest and most outrageously horny pose he’d ever squeezed for me.

“OH FUCK!“ I cried. I grabbed my dick in response and started tugging through the shiny lime green material of my borrowed posers as I squeezed his hard, flexed muscle with my other hand. “OH GOD!” I groaned. It wouldn’t have taken me long to cum.

“Don’t cum yet!” AJ ordered, as he stopped flexing and mischievously grinned at me. Now relaxed from posing, AJ’s cockiness had subsided. He took me by the waist, pushed my body up to his hard, bronzed mass and kissed me.

When we were done, he was biting his lip and looking at me with this mischievous grin. Like he was mulling something over in his head. “OK … I’m gonna try something!” he mysteriously announced. “Just go with it! Put your arms around my neck!” he ordered.

Confused but excited, I grinned and did as AJ had instructed and put my arms around his neck and shoulders. When he bent down I knew exactly what he was attempting to do. He wrapped his right arm under my thighs and with effort, slightly awkwardly lifted me up off the ground. Both of us were laughing, with AJ also straining with the effort of lifting me.

He managed to carry me to the hotel bed whilst I gripped on to his neck and threw me on to the mattress with a grunt.

Cheekily grinning and looking pleased with himself at his semi-successful feat of strength, AJ knelt down at the end of the bed and rested his elbows on the mattress, his upper body just bursting with huge, bronzed muscle.

“Move down a bit!” he ordered, with a devilish grin. Perched up by my elbows, I shuffled down to AJ as instructed, both of us mischievously grinning all the while. When I reached him, he grabbed my legs and told me to come further until both of them were wrapped around his huge, boulder shoulders. It was so surreal to see the contrast of my pale, fair skinned, slightly hairy legs and AJ’s gloriously bronzed skin.

“You look really cute in these posers!” AJ said as he grabbed the straps of the lime green trunks and pulled them down until they were resting half way down my thighs.

He gave my cock a hard squeeze before leaning in and taking it in his mouth. I groaned as I ran one hand over AJ’s newly shaved head and gripped his shoulder with the other. I could have easily cum in his mouth. It wouldn’t have taken me long. But AJ had other plans.

Looking at me in a mischievous, sexy and determined way, AJ surprised me by instructing me to turn around. A surge of excitement rushed through me as I obeyed my boyfriend’s orders and spun around until I was leaning on all fours. Was AJ about to explore a territory he never had before?

He gently ran his hands over my back, then my whole body shimmered as he gently kissed my shoulder blades. Then he kissed the centre of my back, then just above my waist. It was so incredibly intimate and erotic. And then I felt his hands placed gently on both of my buttocks and FUCK, I was ready and willing to do whatever AJ wanted. I was completely at his surrender.

He gently kissed me on my right buttock and I giggled. Then he was pressing on them firmer with his hands. And then he was stretching my buttocks apart and I my hole involuntarily twitched. Fuck! I could feel his face not far from it. I wanted it so badly. I knew this was uncharted territory for AJ. Whatever he wanted to do, at whatever pace was completely fine. But God, I really, really wanted to feel AJ’s tongue on my hole. And then it was.

I groaned as AJ’s tongue gently tickled my opening. He retreated his tongue and then my hole spasmed as he tickled it once more, while prizing my cheeks apart. I could tell he was wary. Taking his time. His tongue reached my hole a third time. This time it didn’t retreat. I melted and groaned as AJ firmly pressed his tongue against my opening and released this cute little groan.

And then he pushed his tongue inside me, opening me up and I groaned loudly in response. All I wanted in that moment was for AJ to be inside me. My gorgeous, beautiful AJ.

What happened next took me by complete surprise. My hole seemed to relax in a way it never had done before. Opening up for AJ’s tongue. He groaned in reaction and stuck his tongue in even more. Filling up my hole. Dancing around inside me. I hadn’t even thought that it was possible, but AJ had taken me a whole new heaven.

“FUCK!” he groaned, as he retreated. I turned my head to see AJ with this manic look of desire and surprise on his face. Like he was discovering something amazing for the first time.

“This is so fucking horny!” he exclaimed, shooting me a huge, excited grin. He then started playing with my hole with his fingers. I groaned in response and pushed my arse out. God. My body was his. To do whatever he fucking wanted with it. He owned it. Completely and wholly.

AJ wrapped his other hand and arm around my waist and stomach and I gripped tightly on to his thick, muscular forearm, wanting to feel as much of him as I could. Still kneeling on the bed, I arched my back up and AJ pressed his muscular torso against my body. His pecs and abs sinking into my back, both of his big, bronzed arms now gripped around my stomach tightly. I twisted my neck to look at AJ and he leant in and kissed me.

When we stopped kissing, he buried his face into my neck as I gripped his thick arms with my hands. His hard dick was pressed up against my arse cheeks. I reached round to grab it, and manually put it in between my cheeks. “Fuck!” AJ excitedly whispered as he rubbed the head of his throbbing cock against my hole.

With AJ’s huge arms wrapped tightly around me, feeling his thick pecs and lumpy abs against my back and his dick rubbing against the opening of my arse, something came over which had never done before.

I’d only had one failed attempt at being fucked. A guy I had been briefly seeing the year before. He’d really wanted it and I had been very drunk. I hadn’t been relaxed enough and as soon as he’d gone inside me, I’d panicked and moved away. In truth, I hadn’t really wanted to be fucked by him. In fact, I’d never really wanted it from any guy. I’d never craved anyone to be inside me. Until that moment.

Because I suddenly wanted AJ inside me. So badly. I wanted to be as intimate with my beautiful bodybuilder boyfriend as I possibly could. I wanted his body inside of mine. The body I loved and worshipped. The body which made me melt and cum. The body which made me felt like I was dying every time I touched it. Or even just when I was near it.

I squeezed his cock further, leant forward slightly, pushing out my arse, and pushed the head of AJ’s dick against my hole. I wasn’t nervous. I wasn’t scared. I just wanted him inside me. It wasn’t going in, but then AJ kissed me on my neck and squeezed his arms tighter around me. And just like it had done when AJ’s tongue had been in me, my arse relaxed and opened up and AJ’s cock slipped inside of me.

It was a strange feeling at first. And there were times when I wanted it to stop. Where I found myself starting to think too much and feared that I was starting to tense up. But I rode it out. I pushed away the doubt. Reminded myself that I was safe with AJ. And as I fully relaxed my mind and the feeling of being fucked by AJ consumed me, I was transported to a place I’d never been before.

It felt like waves of unimaginable pleasure were going through my body. One after the other. I remember thinking, so this is why so many guys do it? This is what it’s all about. It was like I’d finally found a key to a lock that I didn’t even know I could open. It almost didn’t feel real. Something not quite of this world. Much like AJ’s body, I guess. His insanely muscular body which he’d pushed beyond normal limits to become something so beautiful and special and freaky. A body that was now inside me. A body that was now a part of me. It was the closest I’d ever felt to AJ, and it was the most mind blowing and joyful experience I could imagine.

So joyful that when I reached the most intense orgasm I’d ever had, I felt like I was going to cry from happiness. I don’t think I’ve ever made so much noise from cumming. Groaning and screaming from the immeasurable pleasure the first orgasm of it’s kind was giving me. Right before AJ joined in with his own orgasmic screams as he climaxed and came inside me.

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