Saturday, 28 February 2015

PRESS RELEASE: 2015 WORLD GLUTE CHAMPIONSHIPS

The BFBB (Bonkers Federation of Bodybuilding), in association with Muscle Addicts Inc, are proud to announce the first ever annual World Glute Championships.

Celebrating the biggest bums, the beefiest bottoms and the most freakishly striated glutes in the business, the 2015 World Glute Championships is a unique, one of a kind, special bodybuilding competition held in Las Vegas this June.

We've invited a wide variety of bodybuilders from all corners of the globe, of various ages, and of both pro and amateur status (the latter making this an extra special event). These competitors will battle it out in two main categories. The Big Bum/Massive Fucking TANK-ASS category, and the Most Inhumanly Striated/So Freakishly Shredded You Could Probably Grate Fucking Cheese On Them Glutes.

Special awards will also be given to The Lad With The Trunks Showing The MOST Amount of Bum Meat (The Cheeky Bugger), The Lad With The Most Outrageous Posing Routine (Obviously Bringing MASSIVE Attention To His Bottom - Samuel Dixon's a hot favourite for that one), and a Bottom-esque Blast From The Past/Glute Hall of Fame award to a retired bodybuilder of the judges choice.

The traditional poses (abs and thighs etc.) will be modified/replaced with the following…

Side Chest Turned So The Judges Get A Good Look At Your Ridiculously Big Bottom
Side Tricep At The Same Angle With Your Bum Sticking Out
Back Double Bicep
Back Double Bicep With Your Trunks Shoved RIGHT Inside Your Arse Crack
Back Lat Spread
The Squat Pose
The Bum Clench (the lads basically just stand there and clench like crazy)
The Glute Flash (at the count of 3 all lads yank down the back of their posing trunks to show off their rock hard bare naked glutes, Brad Rowe style)
Low Down Crab Most Muscular To The Side With Your MASSIVE Fucking Ass Shoved RIGHT In The Fucking Air
The 'Show Those Glutes' Pose (where the lads just go mental, crank up the 'tude and do all sort of outrageously cocky things to point out their ridiculously hot buttocks to the audience, ass pointing/tapping/slapping/shouting "LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY ASS"/wobbling/clenching/squatting/bending over and wriggling their bums about/running their fingers over the lines and striations etc.)

 CONFIRMED COMPETITOR LIST (subject to revision)

STEVE ORTON


SAMUEL DIXON


COREY SENIOR


TONY CAPURRO (as featured in my latest pic collection)!


JOHNNY DOULL AND DANA BAKER (COMPETING TOGETHER)



JUSTIN COMPTON


BRYAN BALZANO


AARON CLARK


JAMES FLEX LEWIS (a hot favourite for the Most Inhumanly Striated category)


SANTI ARAGON


JUAN MOREL


BIG RAMY (expected to shine in The Squat Pose)!


 LUKAS OSLADIL (another hot favourite for the most outrageous routine!)


MIKE KEFALIANOS


 BAITOLLAH ABBASPOUR


AHMED ASHKNANI


HADI CHOOPAN


SZYMON "WHERE DID THAT ASS COME FROM?" LADA


MIHA ZUPIN


EDUARDO CORREA


 ROMAN FRITZ


BRAD ROWE (expected to shine in The Bum Flash pose)


It promises to be a very special, probably slightly bonkers and undoubtedly memorable show for all bum lovers, glute junkies and ass fanatics alike.

To book tickets visit www.bfbbgluteworldchampionships.com/ifonlythisweretrue/canyoufuckingimagine?/noihaven'tsufferedaheadinjury/fuckyeahgluuuuuuutes

13 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Wow what a perfect selection of succulent glutes. I think you should also add Alessandro Galli. He's got an amazingly striated pair of glutes worthy of your selection.
    Many thanks.
    TW

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    1. Yes! I was going to suggest him too but couldn't recall the name.

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  3. Hot damn -if only this were true--BOOK MY TICKET AND ROOM FOR THE WEEKEND NOW ADDICT. Mouth watering gluteus maximus drool and all contestants throw off their posers into the crowd during the final pose down as they hit those multiple ass flashing salad tossing poses you described so beautifully. Many thanks baby- another great post and sublime idea. And maybe they should just wear g-strings. BOING!

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  4. Mate are you COMPLETELY BONKERS?? Hahah my god I LOVE it! Utter madness, but HELL it's just awesome! I'm loving the modified poses, back double bi with your trunks shoved RIGHT up the crack of your arse and the glute flash a la Brad Rowe are my particular faves. Looking like a DAMN fine line up of competitors so far. So booking tickets for this, never mind a run of the mill spectator ticket I wanna book me on the bloody JUDGING table! Absolutely off the scale mate as ever, pat on the back for you x10!!

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  5. No question Steve Orton wins this category. That is the biggest muscle ass in bodybuilding.

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  6. Johnny's pic always sends me over the edge. Wish I was the one in that room and he says feel my glutes and see if their shredded and hard enough for your taste. OMFG. Great post Addict.

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  7. I vote for Lukas Osladil because of that glute ripple thing he does--but Samuel Dixon's succulent ass cannot be over looked- In fact they are all winners but what happened to Peter Molnar and Krisztin Bereczki? Now look Addict I think when "we" judge them we're just going to have to feel them too-- like when you are choosing a melon at the market.

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  8. When will male bodybuilders be allowed to wear g-strings on stage like female bodybuilders? Fair is fair. In European contest-i.e., Italy and Hungary they are very close to this and almost always the guys bend over and exhibit the hard work they have performed on their glutes just like all their other muscles. I wish puritanical American contests would catch on to this logical trend. Hip hip hurray to Samuel Dixon -it was his display of his perfect ass in tiny gold posers that cinched his win in the Musclemania contest. I mean Addict what's better than a perfectly formed bodybuilder's muscle ass in your face ?

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    1. I'm in complete agreement with all that you said.

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  9. Insanely Hot Muscle pic--who's tit is that? Could you post it in the regular section?

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  10. Never saw Samuel Dixon before the recent Slick Penguin post. Astonishingly beautiful. Still, Corey Senior is my pick. Those are the best glutes anywhere and he's so handsome. I hope he stays in the game. Thanks.

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  11. Addict did you ever choose a winner for this contest?

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