Celebrating the biggest bums, the beefiest bottoms and the most freakishly striated glutes in the business, the 2015 World Glute Championships is a unique, one of a kind, special bodybuilding competition held in Las Vegas this June.
We've invited a wide variety of bodybuilders from all corners of the globe, of various ages, and of both pro and amateur status (the latter making this an extra special event). These competitors will battle it out in two main categories. The Big Bum/Massive Fucking TANK-ASS category, and the Most Inhumanly Striated/So Freakishly Shredded You Could Probably Grate Fucking Cheese On Them Glutes.
Special awards will also be given to The Lad With The Trunks Showing The MOST Amount of Bum Meat (The Cheeky Bugger), The Lad With The Most Outrageous Posing Routine (Obviously Bringing MASSIVE Attention To His Bottom - Samuel Dixon's a hot favourite for that one), and a Bottom-esque Blast From The Past/Glute Hall of Fame award to a retired bodybuilder of the judges choice.
The traditional poses (abs and thighs etc.) will be modified/replaced with the following…
Side Chest Turned So The Judges Get A Good Look At Your Ridiculously Big Bottom
Side Tricep At The Same Angle With Your Bum Sticking Out
Back Double Bicep
Back Double Bicep With Your Trunks Shoved RIGHT Inside Your Arse Crack
Back Lat Spread
The Squat Pose
The Bum Clench (the lads basically just stand there and clench like crazy)
The Glute Flash (at the count of 3 all lads yank down the back of their posing trunks to show off their rock hard bare naked glutes, Brad Rowe style)
Low Down Crab Most Muscular To The Side With Your MASSIVE Fucking Ass Shoved RIGHT In The Fucking Air
The 'Show Those Glutes' Pose (where the lads just go mental, crank up the 'tude and do all sort of outrageously cocky things to point out their ridiculously hot buttocks to the audience, ass pointing/tapping/slapping/shouting "LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY ASS"/wobbling/clenching/squatting/bending over and wriggling their bums about/running their fingers over the lines and striations etc.)
CONFIRMED COMPETITOR LIST (subject to revision)
TONY CAPURRO (as featured in my latest pic collection)!
JOHNNY DOULL AND DANA BAKER (COMPETING TOGETHER)
JAMES FLEX LEWIS (a hot favourite for the Most Inhumanly Striated category)
BIG RAMY (expected to shine in The Squat Pose)!
LUKAS OSLADIL (another hot favourite for the most outrageous routine!)
SZYMON "WHERE DID THAT ASS COME FROM?" LADA
BRAD ROWE (expected to shine in The Bum Flash pose)
To book tickets visit www.bfbbgluteworldchampionships.com/ifonlythisweretrue/canyoufuckingimagine?/noihaven'tsufferedaheadinjury/fuckyeahgluuuuuuutes