Thursday 3 July 2014

MUSCLE PIC COLLECTION #35 - MUSCLE GODS & BEEF MONSTERS!

It's time for another pic collection of carved up cuties, ripped up hotties, roided out monsters and everything in between!! In this collection...American muscle beast Nick Trigili, Latin-American hottie Raciel Castro, German muscle lads Roman Fritz & David Hoffmann, barely human Czech muscle freak Milan Sadek, Austrian hottie Calum Von Moger, American muscle head Jeff Long, French woofster Christian Lacoche, Croatian BULL Petar Klancir, American almost daddy Mark Dugdale and loads more huge, ripped, stacked, jacked, tude packed, tan plastered, posing trunk sporting FREAKS!!

You might notice this particular collection is a little different to the ones I've done in the past! I've tried something slightly different and added captions/text to every pic! I'm not really sure if this will be something people will like so it's kind of just an experiment at this stage, but if it proves particularly popular I might start doing it more for future pic collections!

3 WORDS: FUCK! FUCK! And er...oh yeah...FUUUUUUCCKK!!


Having a friend round for dinner? Cooking your infamous spag bol? Need to grate some Parmesan? Lost your bleedin' cheese grater?? No sweat. Just use Milan's hard, DRY, inhumanely shredded midsection!! FUCK!!


Nick Trig flexing the BEEF (nice veins mate)!!


In the words of Prince: "You sexy mother..."


CUTE MONSTER ALERT!!


HOLY! FUCKING! QUADS!


The hard dry shredded torso of Mr Milan Sadek (FUCK YEAH)!!


Worship THIS mate!!


Gorgeous fucking six pack, carved to UTTER perfection!


Cheeky fucking bugger!! Actually, make that...LUCKY fucking bugger!!


Two cheeky muscle buds rocking the beef backstage (LOVE the tude on 164)!


HHMMPFF fucking squeeze it!! Few more poses and I bet this (hot/handsome) lad would start getting a sweat on!


Er...no Jeff the expression is "put a sock IN it", not "put a sock ON it"! 
FUCKING CRACKERS!!


BEEFY! BEEFIER! BEEFIEST! Loving those veins on Mr. Bognar! NASTY!!


Raciel's thoughts: "If only I could just get ONE Instagram like. Sigh"!


Ever seen a Christmas tree in July?! You have now...


Looks like Mr. Montgomery's become an official member of The Scrunchy Monkey Society!!


Oh shit! The sweat has now trickled all the way down my hard chest and tight bumpy abs and is now heading for the front of my posers. Ahhh well. Just gotta keep on scrunchin'! EEEEEEEEE!!


Just another day, hanging out by a lamppost with my pants round my ankles. Hard tight shredded bod and packed out posing pouch on full display. Tra la la...


Hmmm what do ya think fellas? Another coat of tan??


And if Milan's not available, just use this lad's ripped up midsection for your cheese grating needs!


Who needs shoes when you're rocking 170 lbs of tight ripped muscle??


And they said I couldn't find posers to match the colour of my tan painted (inhumanely thin) skin. PAH!!


Er...you don't need to point to it mate! We're not seeing ANYTHING other than cute beefy bootie swallowing up those posing trunks!! SLURP!!


You would be completely forgiven for assuming these three ripped up muscle buds are competing in a bodybuilding show. WRONG!! These naughty buggers pretty much just hang out in nothing but their trunks all day, strutting round their neighbourhood showing off their tight ripped muscle bods! *Rolls eyes, shakes head and chuckles* LADS!


Seriously mate, those trotters are gonna be FILTHY! 


Hmmm. I'm not sure these muscle boys have got the hang off this footwear malarkey. Shoes are worn OUTSIDE! Shoes are taken off INSIDE! It ain't rock science lads!!


"Just ONE teensie Instagram like. That's ALL I'm asking for..."


Shy? NOPE! Humble?! FUCK THAT!! "ROOOAAAAARRRR"!!!


"Yes, I'll have the ripped blonde cutie for starters and for the main I'll have the erm...yep...hard dry daddy. No dessert thank yooooou".


EEEEEEE FUCKING SCRUNCH IT!!


And at night, this dude rents his stomach out...as a human fucking bouncy castle. BOOOOIIINNGGG!


Christian Lacoche (or to give him his full name, Christian La-RUFF RUFF FUCKING RUFF-coche)!


The very definition of "woof"! All together now...WOOOOOOOOFF!!!


"Yeah these are my freakishly ripped up, cling wrap skin covered, zero body fat abbers. What of it?"


I think this expression roughly translates to: "AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH"!!


"The Sahara Desert?! PAH! It ain't got NOTHING on my hard striated glutes"!


And the award for "Most Bonkers Face Scrunch" goes to....


Perfectly muscled, beautifully carved out six pack AND devilishly handsome. Nah, that'll never sell on OkCupid. Sorry mate!


This is pretty much how Joey poses for every picture! Sitting at a booth having a shake, standing in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, in all of his sisters wedding photos (unfortunately that last one didn't go down too well, except for with Billy, the suspiciously effeminate photographer)!


"What do you mean I should be at home chomping Werthers and watching Countdown at my age?! FUCK THAT"! *BLASTS a most muscular* "EEEEEEEE"!!


Jesus fucking Christ! Someone pass that lad a TOWEL! Mucky fucking PUP!!


ABSOLUTE! FRIGGING! MONSTER!



Ok both hands on quads if a) you're fucking gorgeous, b) you're packing some seriously shredded, rock hard, vein splattered mounds of muscle mass and c) the mere sight of you in nothing but your trunks has followers (and bloody authors) of muscle blogs pant pant panting into their laptops!


Jeeeez!! Anyone would think these muscle lads ENJOY being on stage, ripped and pumped to ridiculous degrees, squeeeeezing the beef while pulling the cheekiest, scrunchiest expressions possible!!


Cheeky looking pint sized cutie blasting some brilliantly shredded BEEF! SLURP!


GOT QUADS?!


FUCK YEAH GLOOOOOOOTZ!!


Looks like someone did get Roman a towel! Hmmmm...that arm looks suspiciously female. HANDS OFF BITCH!! That's my job!!


You've GOT to love Nick Trigili's ravioli shaped abs!!


BABIES! WANT! NOW!


HA! Fat bleedin' chance of that mate!! That's what you get for pumping yourself up to uber-human proportions until you're a walking fucking brick shit house in a brilliantly sloganed t shirt!!


"What do you mean you're supposed to smile on stage"?!


BOOOOOOOM!!


Ever seen a real life purple headed monster?! You have now...


BEST. FACE. SCRUNCH. EVER!!


"Erm...I didn't work my arse off to get these shockingly shredded abber dabbers just to lift my shirt up and show them off at every given opportunity you know! Wait...what the fuck am I saying? I soooooo bloody did mate"!


HOW is that human?? FUCK!!


BEST. FACE. SCRUNCH (by Russian cutie Ivan Kochetkov). EVER!! EEEEEEEE!!


Ok let's see...cute as a button looks? Check! Obscenely hot bad boy mohawk? Check! Teenie purple trunks? Check! Granite hard, shredded to buggery beef packed muscle bod? Check check check!!


There should be a law against this man wearing a vest! Or any other item of clothing covering that thick muscle packed torso for that matter!


OK we're not quite in cheese grater territory anymore but FUCK that's one hot, nicely carved up midsection if I ever bloody saw one!


Lovely! Gorgeous! Beautiful! SHREDDED! Just some of the ways to describe this incredible six pack...


Just one question: how how HOW is that skin so fucking THIN?? BONKERS!!


"What's that Mark? You've never had braces?! Yeah, and next you'll be telling me you were born with those massive mounds of pumped, thick, solid bull-esque muscle exploding off your bones. And of course that's your natural skin tone"!!


Three guesses as to whether this lad's wearing shoes!!


"Body...FAT you say?! Hmmm. Nope, sorry! Never heard of it!"


Me: Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most ridiculously fucking GORGEOUS lad in the line-up er..I mean of them all.

Mirror: Are you FUCKING SHITTING ME?? ROMAN BLEEDIN' FRITZ is the most fucking GORGEOUS of them all. Jeeeeeeez!!

Me: Ooooooh *jerks head in the direction of the mirror*! Get her!


"What do you mean I can't stay here all day"?


Guy in red shirt: What time is it dude??

Tanned up hottie: What time is it?! *looks at watch* DUDE!! It's only....SCRUNCH O'CLOCK!!

Guy in red shirt and tanned up hottie (in unison): EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!


Cuddle Buddies! (Awwww)!


What do you think of this new style of collection with the captions/text to accompany every pic?? Have your say in the poll below!

9 comments:

  1. Calum Von Moger: WOOOOOFFFFF

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  2. LOOOVE IT!!! Witty, adorable and above all HORNY!!!

    Top 5 (and this was NOT an easy decision):

    5th place: BEEFY! BEEFIER! BEEFIEST! Loving those veins on Mr. Bognar! NASTY!!

    Yummy. Yummier. Yummiest!

    4th place: Raciel's thoughts: "If only I could just get ONE Instagram like. Sigh"! - & "Just ONE teensie Instagram like. That's ALL I'm asking for..."

    Haha! LOVE IT! Me thinks Raciel *might* just have a like or two in reality!

    3rd place: In the words of Prince: "You sexy mother..."

    Simple, effective and HOT-AS-HELL! And that picture though…..Fer-UK!

    2nd place: Having a friend round for dinner? Cooking your infamous spag bol? Need to grate some Parmesan? Lost your bleedin' cheese grater?? No sweat. Just use Milan's hard, DRY, inhumanely shredded midsection!! FUCK!!

    Bonkers! And damn accurate too! Do I get to lick this particular kitchen implement clean once it’s been used?!

    1st place: Er...no Jeff the expression is "put a sock IN it", not "put a sock ON it"!
    FUCKING CRACKERS!!

    *faints* And I thought Jeff was such a good boy too! OMFG look at that PICTURE!!! Crazy, crackers and adorable all at once! Oh yeah and the caption is PERFECT!!!

    Absolutely wonderful stuff MA, love ‘em all and I don’t think I need to tell you which way I voted! ;-)

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  3. Right on anon, you can't design your own wet dream more perfect than Calum von Moger. Great, Great post Addict.

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  4. Fun, filthy stuff, addict! I love this sort of muscle talk, especially when it's spoken by a master such as yourself!

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  5. 'Cute Monster Alert' for me! Fuck yeah! You are the dog's bollocks...more please Addict!

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  6. Without your commentary, the blog would cease to stand out. Without your energy, enthusiasm and consistency. The gay muscle world would be missing a truely, unashamed, heart-on-the-line, full-blooded, testosterone laden, unapologetic lover of male muscle.
    You don't necessarily have to have captions after every picture, because there are so many and you'd stand the risk or repeating yourself. But the intro paragraph and the occasional discussion, lets us know what you think about the subject. Which you don't get on many other blogs, maybe because it's too risky.
    Thanks for your (Germanic) consistency and upfront, great blog.
    TMA

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  7. Thanks for all these great comments lads. The results of the poll are 85% in favour so I'll definitely be doing this style of pic collection again (although maybe not for every one)!

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  8. Mate another corker, well when are they ever not?? The captions just confirm what we're all thinking really, as you said maybe not for every post or every pic on a post but deffo do it again. The face scrunch ones just drive me MAD, especially Mr Kochetkov, and the 'EEEE fucking scrunch it' one. And the cute monster alert is SOOOO cute!!!

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  9. Great work..Love the captions

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