Monday, 23 June 2014

THE 10 COCKIEST POSERS IN BODYBUILDING: PART 1

Any regular readers of my blog will know not only how much I love cocky posers but also how big of a part the way a bodybuilders poses, and the attitude he adopts when he's cranking out his poses plays in how hot I find him! I just can't get enough of pumped up fucking muscle freaks who rip up the stage like fucking ANIMALS, cranking and flexing and squeezing the beef with the shit hottest, most over the top animated, outrageously cocky and shamelessly arrogant TOOD imaginable! I've asked this question before on the blog but I'll ask it again; what the FUCK is the point of pumping yourself up to uber-human proportions, and moulding your body to look like some kind of grotesque mutated muscle FREAK if you're not gonna have some fun with it and show off all your mighty muscle whilst displaying an arrogant/cocky/superior/at *least* a lil' bit cheeky TUDE like all the best muscle monsters do??

Here are some top tips for any budding bodybuilders unsure of just how to crank the tude and flex the beef like a cocky fucking fucker when on that stage, ripped and carved, wearing nothing but their tiny shiny posing trunks…


FLEX LIKE YOU MEAN IT

Let the audience know you mean business right from the start! Storm/strut/stomp on to that fucking stage like some overly testosterone pumped BULL ready to charge. Crank out those poses as HARD as you possibly can. Flex those balloons of pumped up man beef with so much fucking OOMPFF and effort the audience fear you may do yourself a personal injury! Pose so hard that sweat is literally trickling down your slabs of carved up marble-esque muscle mass, and streaking your competition tan. Feel free to STOMP those huge, thick braided quads down on to the stage like you're attempting to punch holes through it.

IT'S ALL IN THE FACE

One big way to demonstrate a cheeky/playful/arrogant/over the top cocky attitude is through your facial expressions! Be a cheeky monkey by screwing/scrunching up your face like "eeeeeeeee" as you fucking CRANK it! Scrunch that mush as much as you can! The scrunchier the better, even if you have to jam your eyes tight shut as you do it (in fact, even better)! Be an outrageously cocky bugger by playfully/shamelessly sticking out your tongue as you blast the beef!! Don't just limit flashing your tounge to your abs & thighs, and most musculars poses where it's typically done. Show that tongue as often, and with as many poses as you like! Be an arrogant fucking fucker by aggressively opening your mouth wider than a fucking tunnel like "ROOOOAAARRR" or "AAAARGGGHHH" as you show off your mighty muscle mass like an untamed feral fucking BEAST roaring at the audience!! Other cheeky/cocky expressions as you flex and pose include arrogantly snarling at the audience, pursing out your lips, playfully curling your mouth into a (slightly camp) "0", biting down hard on your bottom lip, poofing out your cheeks and generally contorting your face in to all manner of awesome/cheeky/cocky/arrogant expressions!

MAKE SOME NOISE

Ever heard the expression "bodybuilders should be seen and not heard"? Nope…didn't think so! Don't be afraid to put those vocal chords to work when you're blasting the beef and cranking out those poses. It, of course, may be necessary to exhale, huff and puff like "hffffffttt", "ppppsssstt", "oooofffff" when you're hitting the peak of the pose. My advice? Do this as LOUDLY as possible! Making of lots of unnecessary noise however, would be an ideal way to show off that outrageously cocky, and downright bleedin' cheeky tude!! This could include loud groaning, animal-like grunting, making an "ooooooh" noise as you hit the pose, shouting "YEAH", or letting rip a massive roar like "ARRRGGGGHHHH" as you flex that insanely shredded superhuman man meat and show the world what a superior, hot as hell muscle monster you are!!

BUDDIE UP

Not the only cocky muscle freak in the line up?? Struggling to out-do some overly cheeky bugger who just won't quit with his relentlessly cocky tude? If you can't beat 'em…join 'em!! Stick to that cocky fucker like glue during the posedown, buddying up like two mutual muscle chums, and being the two cheekiest/most arrogant fuckers on the stage, indulging in all manner of over the top cocky moves and expressions! Cheekily imitate his poses and drape your arm around his neck and crank out some mutual poses, indulging in some cheeky expressions like sticking your tongues out! Playfully and outrageously brush or wipe down one of his huge thick quads! Maybe trace the deep lines separating his crazy quad muscles with your finger, or maybe even just give that huge corded quad meat a good fucking SLAP! Don't stop at the quads. Give those tight hamstrings a cheeky slap when he faces the rear! Contact with his freakishly striated glutes may be one step too far, but you could always playfully point to that insanely dry, ripped to buggery bootie like "FUCK…look at THAT"! And don't forget to indulge in a "head to head Most Muscular" with your new muscle bud, facing each other and bumping heads, and then ROOOOAAAARRR, both squeezing out massive, beef exploding most musculars with your mouths arrogantly wiiiide open in unison!

And lastly…don't just limit your cocky attitude to the stage!! Feel free to put any and all of the above cocky moves in action when posing for pics, whether photo shoot or candid gym/posing at home shots/selfies, or making posing practise/posing in the gym videos, or shooting pump room/backstage/interview/pretty much anything which involves posing videos!!!

Fortunately for us cocky posing lovers, a large proportion of bodybuilders indulge in some of the above on a regular bases! Some only bring out their really cocky sides for specific poses, and on rare occasions, others are pretty much guaranteed to be cocky fuckers every time they flex a muscle and they've got a camera pointed at them!! Here are ten of the cheekiest/cockiest/most arrogant posers in bodybuilding!! This list wasn't easy to compile at all, as there's a TON of cocky fuckers out there! Some of the cockiest guys I've seen are completely unknowns in random Youtube videos etc, but if we're talking well known bodybuilders, I'm fairly confident I've chosen ten of the best!!

#10. KRISZTIAN BERECZKI

If this fairly well known, big haired, funky looking but insanely fucking hot Hungarian muscle lad had any kind of business sense, he'd have marketed himself as Krisztian "THE FACE" Bereczki years ago!! Krisztian is famous for three things; the impressively shredded, brilliantly beefy body, his bonkers big hair, and for cranking out his poses while opening his mouth wiiiiiide in the craziest/most awesome/over the top animated/down right bleedin' cheeky manner imaginable!! As well as being incredibly cocky, that face he clearly LOVES pulling is just totally fucking bonkers, and never fails to raise cheers from the audience when he does it, sometimes accompanied with a mini wave of laughter! There was a video I watched once with Kriztian posing in the audience of a show, and in one fucking awesome/funny moment a girl in the audience shouted at him "DO THE FACE"!! Haha!! Love it!! He's generally a cocky little bugger, and also indulges in a bit of face scrunching but it's the mouth roar/"THE FACE" (hehe) which is his trademark, and without a doubt makes this pumped up, carved out mountain of young muscle one of the best/cheekiest/cockiest Hungarian fuckers in bodybuilding!!











#9. MARK DUGDALE

I *really* wanted to rank ridiculously handsome, mega woofy, muscle bull Mark Dugdale higher on this list, but my conscious wouldn't let me! Mark's a difficult one to place because he only really does ONE really cocky thing/move but FUCK does he do it well, and FUCK if it's not the most over the top cocky/unbelievably arrogant/down right bleedin' animalistic move!! Any Dugdale fans will know exactly what I'm talking about, but for the rest of you I'll give you a clue; "AAAAAARRRRGHHHH"!!! Yep, Mark loves nothing more than to fucking CRANK out his muscle popping abs & thighs, and BLAST out his beef erupting most musculars while arrogantly opening his mouth as WIDE as humanely fucking possible!! ROOOOOARRRR!! ARGGGGHHHH!! Cocky!! Fucking!! FUCKER!!









And (a bit of a first) I've made a little video just for this post featuring nothing but Mark indulging in his trademark mouth roaring expression. All together now..."ARRRRRRGGGHHHH"...



#8. KEVIN TOMASINI

If you're not that familiar with Kevin Tomasini, this is what you need to know! He's an American amateur bodybuilder! He's super-butch and mega-woofy, sporting a completely bald bonce (PHWOAR)! He likes to wear novelty Superman underpants (hehe)! And er…oh yeah…he's one HELL of a cocky fucking poser!! You can always rely on Big Kev to show off his thick balloons of pumped man beef while displaying some seriously awesome fucking TUDE! The fucker just revels in snapping open that mouth, puffing out those cheeks, and sticking that naughty bleedin' tongue out when he's cranking out and letting rip, both on stage *and* off!!









There doesn't seem to be any vids of Big Kev on stage on YouTube but the below video of Kevin posing in the gym is well worth a look, and you can definitely sense his cockiness coming through in his facial expressions, noises and the way he flexes his thick mounds of muscle! Skip to around 1:28 for some seriously fucking HOT (and noisy) ab crunching. He cranks it so fucking HARD, grunting and hissing as he blows it out. PPPSSSS!! TTSSSSS!! EUUURGGHHH!!



#7. STEVE ORTON

This is what springs to mind when I think of young Kiwi muscle bull Steve Orton. Sexy fucking fucker!! TANK of a fucking muscle bod!! GIGANTIC fucking ASS!! COCKY BLEEDIN' BUGGER!! The faces this unbelievably hot muscle BEAST pulls when he's hitting his poses are cheeky, NASTY, out-bleedin-rageous, cocky as fucking FUCK, and just plain bloody awesome!! Steve cranks and flexes his mighty muscle so fucking HARD it has to be seen to be believed, all the while screwing up his face, snapping his mouth open, puffing his cheeks out and twisting his (sexy) mush into all manner of shamelessly cocky expressions!! FUCK YEAH STEVE!! EURGH FUCKING CRANK IT!!
 













#6. SAMI AL HADDAD

I don't think I've ever seen a single picture of Middle Eastern muscle freak Sami Al Haddad on stage in his usually shiny, always tiny posing trunks hitting a pose while at *least* scrunching up that sexy face of his like a cheeky monkey! Make no mistake, Sami is a tude packed, cocky as fuck poser of the highest order! Much like Krisztian & Mr. Dugdale, Sami's signature cocky move is snapping his mouth open as wide as fucking possible like some kind of ANIMAL, usually when blasting out those one hand on one quad most musculars! Sami's are particularly awesome though because there so fucking powerful, so over the top cocky and so playfully fucking arrogant!!








The below video is of Sami at last year's New York Pro looking thick, crazy and shredded! Skip to the 3 minute mark to see some crazy hot comparisons of Sami, Aaron Clark, Jose Raymond and Mr. Dugdale!! FUCK!!



2 comments:

  1. Steve Orten's Fantastic Ass!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post. Looking forward to part 2! Love the video montage of Mark D. doing is signature flex face again and again. So true that he only has one -- albeit very hot -- flex face!

    ReplyDelete

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