Tuesday, 14 January 2014

DANISH BODYBUILDER SOREN MOLLER

HOW TO GET YOUR OWN BLOG POST ON MUSCLE ADDICTS INC

#1. You don’t have to be a monster, but you *do* have to be a muscle freak of the pumped up variety. Generally the more freakishly ripped, the more jaw droppingly shredded and the less human you look, the better, however, if you have a modestly big, beef packed body which is tight, hard and nicely ripped your chances are also good! A pair of nicely beefy, brilliantly striated pecs, some big-ass cut to fuck delts, some impressively shredded quadders, a hard, tight, zero body fat midsection with six lovely placed, rectangle shaped, deeply cut tummy muscles, and a modestly sized, posing trunk covered beefy bootie which sticks out half a mile when you blast out your rear poses will pretty much seal the deal…












#2. You don’t have to be stunningly good looking (a la Eduardo Correa) or model gorgeous (a la Brad Rowe - PHWOAR), you don’t have to be what most would deem as classically good looking (see Emiliano Dell’Uomo), hell, if the bod is amazing (see above) and/or the tude is outrageous (see below) you don’t even have to be what *anyone* would call good looking (click here for the evidence) to feature on the blog. In fact, your looks are probably the least important attribute when it comes to getting a post, however, if you do happen to be so ridiculously handsome it hurts to look at you (Roman Fritz), impossibly fucking boyish and CUTE (Ivan Kochetkov) or butch, rough, woofy, gruffy and sexy as hell (Mark Dugdale) it won’t exactly hurt your chances either! Or you could just be a little bit gorgeous and extremely fucking sexy with a slight quirky/odd look about you complete with ridiculous cheek bones, a lovely cheeky chappie grin, adorable sticky out ears and an occasional sexy faux-Mohawk (WOOF)…









#3. Make sure you hit the bodybuilding stage with *the* cheekiest/cockiest/naughtiest/most outrageously arrogant TOOD imaginable! You want to be *the* cheekiest and most animated fucker on that stage. Flex those muscles and crank that beef while screwing your faces up into the most shamelessly cocky expressions you can think of. This includes:

a) Scrunching up your mush, squinting like fuck and wrinkling your nose like a rabbit (hehe) as you show off the ripped up lad beef bulging off your bones like “HMPPFF…get a load of THIS fuckers”…








b) Outrageously and shamelessly sticking out your tongue (FUCK YEAH) as you BLAST out those beef exploding most musculars and CRANK out those muscle crunching abs and thighs like the cockiest fucker to ever squeeze into a pair of skimpy posing trunks which leave very little to the imagination…










c) Arrogantly opening your mouth WIDE as you squeeeeeze your carved out man meat like your life fucking depends on it, like some kind of untamed, testosterone fuelled ANIMAL…





#4. Ensure there is at least one video of you on YouTube in incredibly SHREDDED, competition condition, ripping up the stage and flexing the goods with the aforementioned over the top cheeky/cocky TUDE on full display, and indulging in *all* the above scrunchy munchy/tonguey flashy/mouthy roary bonkers-ness! If the video sees you throwing in some extra crazy moves like outrageously rolling your abs before BAM…cranking down into a Most Muscular with your cheeky tongue hanging out, and your abs practically popping through your belly (see 1:16 of the below video), or brilliantly wobbling your quad, giving it a big hard SLAP, BLASTING out a beef popping most muscular with your mouth wide open and then bobbing your tongue out again like a nasty fucker (see 1:22 of the below and have a spare of undies to hand) then even better…



#5. Ensure there are plenty of pictures of you pon de Internet beautifully showing off what a cute/gorgeous/quirky hottie of a ripped up fucking muscle freak with shreds, rips and cuts a-plenty and pumped up beef to fucking spare, who clearly loves nothing more than to indulge in showing off said beef with some of the hottest/cheekiest/cockiest facial expressions and most playful/animated/bonkers moves on stage causing a dozen beef obsessed muscle addicts to cry “FUCK YEAH…er…nothing honey“ then think “Patrick can NOT find out about my secret obsession with huge freaky bodybuilders PHWOAR“ at their laptops/PC’s/smart phones and generally being the carved out, beefed up, tude pumped, hot as hell, flat out freaky as FUCK muscle monkey that you are!

































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