Name: Charlie Steatham
Occupation: Second year media student temporarily studying at a university in Florida (official school is in London).
Notable physical attributes: Slim built figure, slightly geeky but handsome/cute (though he'd never think so himself).
Character traits: Introverted, shy and socially awkward which means he doesn't always make the best first impression. His nerves and anxieties when meeting new people often mask his best qualities of being funny, caring and extremely loyal. A hopeless romantic at heart but gets attached to men too easily. Has an extremely over active imagination. Doesn't suffer fools gladly and is generally intolerant of anyone obnoxious, judgemental and over opinionated (especially fellow students and work experience placement attendees). Secretly completely obsessed with insanely shredded, superhuman muscle freaks in teenie tiny, brightly coloured posing trunks.
Most likely to: Think of new variations of the word "twat" to describe Billy Horvath in his head; move back to England and fall for a Bryan Macleod lookalike; always wonder what happened to Stuart Fox.
Least likely to: Become best friends with Billy Horvath; sit through thirty minutes of an American Muscle Productions DVD without filling up his pants with half a pint of man milk.
Name: Stuart Fox
Occupation: Medical student and sometime, supposed cameraman.
Notable physical attributes: Slim built, handsome, mousey blonde hair, prone to wearing cheeky/devilish grins.
Character traits: Confident, down to earth demeanour. A doer rather than a thinker. Prone to taking risks and not adverse to doing things he probably shouldn't, but usually gets away with them. Cheeky, charming and incredibly endearing, which means he's very rarely single or without admirers. Secretly completely obsessed with insanely shredded, superhuman muscle freaks in teenie tiny, brightly coloured posing trunks.
Most likely to: Invent more bonkers and brilliant pump room games and invite nervous work experience guys to play them; blag his way into becoming the chief executive of American Muscle Productions when Bryan Macleod retires; bag himself a bodybuilder boyfriend; occasionally wonder what happened to Charlie Steatham for two minutes max before going back to his bodybuilder boyfriend.
Least likely to: Say "we can't do that, we'll get into trouble!"; sit through thirty minutes of an American Muscle Productions DVD without filling up his pants with half a pint of man milk.
Occupation: Chief executive of American Muscle Productions.
Notable physical attributes: Masculine, daddy-esque (some might say "woof worthy") looks but his rather striking and gorgeous eyes give him a pretty boy quality, extremely masculine and undeniably sexy bald head, well built and gym trained physique with impressively thick upper arms and a broad chest, furry forearms which suggest furry in other places too, prone to wearing outrageously awesome sloganed t-shirts which stretch over his modestly broad back.
Character traits: Extremely confident, authoritative but friendly and approachable. Completely comfortable with saying words like "jacked up muscle bulls" and explaining what "muscle worship" is to nervous, unsuspecting work experience students.
Most likely to: Demand and order more t-shirts with new/even more outrageously awesome slogans than "LIVE FOR THE PUMP" for himself and his staff to wear; secretly get a kick out of saying words like "jacked up muscle bulls" and explaining what "muscle worship" is to nervous, unsuspecting work experience students.
Least likely to: Purchase shampoo.
Name: Billy Horvath, aka Billy Hor-FuckOffAndDisappearUpYourOwnArseYouFuckingTwat-vath
Occupation: Second year media student temporarily studying at a university in Florida (though highly likely to be considering a transfer).
Notable physical features: Short, slim built, almost always permanently scowling or giving the stink-eye to virtually anyone and everything he encounters.
Character traits: Very opinionated and not afraid to express it (especially in class) no matter who he may offend. Some would say rude, obnoxious and incredibly judgemental. Secretly likes to argue and craves attention and known to 'troll' on the Internet. Un-intimidated by virtually anything or anyone, except insanely shredded, superhuman muscle freaks in teenie tiny, brightly coloured posing trunks.
Most likely to: Issue a formal complaint to his school for sending him on a work experience placement to film a national amateur bodybuilding competition; embark on a personal mission to get Professor Walsh fired; bombard blogs and Internet forums with his newly formed opinion of how competitive bodybuilders are "disgusting, brain dead, steroid abusing meatheads".
Least likely to: Ask Bryan Macleod for a job at American Muscle Productions; say something nice, positive or complimentary in relation to anything or anyone.