Saturday, 20 May 2017

EVERYBODY LOVES CHRIS!

Last week I put on a poll on the blog asking you guys what post you wanted to see next. The options were a brand new glutes collection, or a post dedicated to Canadian super freak Chris Bumstead. Over 100 votes were cast and the winning choice with just 7(!) more votes was...yep, you guessed it...a post on Mr Bumstead (sorry glute fans)!

So I think it's fair to say that all of us self confessed muscle addicts like different aspects of muscle. We all love outrageously developed muscle, but we all come at it from slightly different angles.

Some addicts favour the huge mass monsters and the excessive sized bulls of the muscle world. The roid gutted freaks who tip the scales at over 300 lbs. Who stomp and strut with their enormous sized asses spilling out of their posers, dwarfing every other person they come into contact with. Who live and breathe for being as huge as they possibly can, just so they can stand on stage in a pair of tiny posers, squeezing, flexing and showing off their freak show mass for an audience of adoring and freaked out spectators.

Others go nuts for bodybuilders who possess barely human, shredded-to-death conditioning. Shockingly sliced muscle lads who've pushed their physiques to unspeakable limits. Freaks with zero percent body fat and dick thin skin stretching over their ripped to ribbons slabs of phenomenally cut muscle. Lads with all year round Christmas trees sitting on their backs and quads that look like they'd be more at home in the costume department of Alien: Covenant than being attached to an actual human being.

Some of us love the competition look (super shredded and drenched in competition tan) while others prefer an off season, non-tanned look. Certain muscle lovers even HATE competition tan which is something I've always had a hard time trying to get my head around but there we go. Some of us like nasty, veiny, grainy daddies. Others prefer young, cutie patootie muscle lads (most of us like both!). Some like Middle Eastern muscle freaks who just PLASTER themselves in tan. Some prefer European muscle studs who are ALWAYS crazily conditioned and often handsome as hell. Some of us have a weakness for those All American muscle monsters who combine good looks and excessive size. And not half of us go bonkers enough for gorgeous, grizzly, butch as fuck British muscle bulls but hey ho.

And finally...some (surely, most?) of us go just a little bit gaga at the sight of a bodybuilder in pair of fuck-off shiny, usually colourful, thinly strapped, minuscule posing trunks! Some of us even like them so much that we own a few pairs ourselves (I can think of 5 lads off the top of my head and I'm sure there's a ton more)!

But no matter what angle we come from, there are certain bodybuilders who, for whatever reason, seem to be almost unanimously liked, if not loved, by the vast majority of us muscle lovers! James Flex Lewis (who doesn't love a bit of Flex?), Peter Molnar (how could you NOT?!) and Dallas McCarver (don't like Dallas? And you call yourself a muscle lover? PAH!) to name a few. And now, since from about, erm...last Summer, there's another certain bodybuilder who can be very much added to that list; 22 year old Canadian muscle freak Chris Bumstead!

So what's so special about Chris? First and foremost...THAT incredible physique. Mr Bumstead NEVER fails to step on stage in the most breathtaking condition. From his traps to his calves, almost every single inch of Chris' physique looks like it's been carved to absolute muscle perfection. And no talk of Mr Bumstead's bod would be complete with the mention of two things; those gloriously developed and beautifully thick glutes, and his brilliantly and uniquely detailed quads, which erupt in so much freakish detail when tensed that they practically look mutated.

Elsewhere he has rather good taste in posing trunks (often shiny and always brilliantly coloured), though I *would* love to see him in a pair of Muscle Potential trunks (I speak to those guys and they would very much love it too)! What else? He's one hell of a fucking poser who LOVES to freak out his fans and audiences by sucking in his (awesome!) abs in a freaky-as-fuck vacuum pose, and even occasionally cranks up the 'tude on stage when he's blasting out his bonkers crab most musculars (usually when he's guest posing with fellow Canadian beef head Dana Baker)! Oh, and if you hadn't noticed, he's also a bit of a handsome bugger too!

So go nuts, make some noise, or just sit back and marvel at, hands down, one of THE best and freakishly conditioned muscle lads to emerge from Canada, fuck it...bloody ANYWHERE in recent memory...



































I LOVE this short video of Chris and Dana guest posing in matching golden posers. Chris' quads look typically nuts and I love the bit where Dana cheekily points out Chris' thick, shredded glutes.


And check out this short video of Chris tensing his freakish quads. When they're relaxed they look relatively normal (for bodybuilding standards) and then BAM...he tenses them and they just explode with inhuman muscle and insane detail, and it suddenly looks as if you're looking at something from another fucking planet!

A post shared by Chris Bumstead (@cbum_) on

And one last video of Chris and Dana at another guest posing spot! Gotta love that joint crab most muscular at 0:51!

Saturday, 13 May 2017

MUSCLE WARS: BATTLE OF THE BUMS!

Since I can't decide what to post next on the blog I've decided to let YOU guys chose for me! Below is a poll with two different blog posts to chose from. The winning choice will make up my next post!

DING DING DING!! So in the blue corner we have a brand new "GLUTES GLUTES GLUTES" post (my first in a while)! Shredded to fuckery glutes, alien-like asses, absurdly sized bottoms and everything in between. And in the red corner we have a post dedicated to a man who is (without ANY fucking doubt) one of the hottest and most popular bodybuilders on the planet...Chris Bumstead.


So what's its gonna be lads? Glorious glutes V gorgeous Chris? Lots of big bums V one big Bumstead? A whole feast of bodybuilder bootie V a truck load of Canadian studliness? Get your votes in now…

Sunday, 30 April 2017

MILAN...NICOLAS...DANI...FUUUUCK!!

This is a public service announcement. Every single muscle lover/junkie/addict/anyone with a penchant for huge, shredded, ever flexing muscle bulls (shiny minuscule posing trunks preferable but optional) needs to stop what they're doing RIGHT BLEEDING NOW and spend the next ten minutes or so perusing the pics and videos in this post!

This post contains not one, not two, but THREE ridiculously awesome muscle lads. All jacked to shit. All pumped to buggery. All in the most jaw dropping competition condition! And ALL very worthy of your/any attention.

First up, one of my favourite bodybuilders from the last few years….Milan Sadek! Last seen hanging around backstage at bodybuilding shows with Roman Fritz in matching red posers, and trying to fight off the grubby mitts of that cheeky bugger of a German muscle bull Steve Benthin on stage, Milan made his return to the stage last weekend in pretty much the best fucking shape and condition of his life!

Sliced and diced from head to fucking foot, his physique was just one big mass of granite hard muscle, crazy cuts, inhuman striations and freaky veins! FUCK YEAH!! Check out the close up hotel room shots of those bonkers quads and just LOOK at that crazy but beautiful feathering! This is what it's all about people!












LOOK AT THOSE BONKERS FUCKING QUADS!! I love the moment at the end when he signals down to them like, "Check that fucking shit out! YEAH"!



Next up…Swiss bodybuilder Nicolas Vullioud! No doubt you'll all have heard of him. Young guy, short in height, thick as shit muscle, always shockingly shredded, usually sports a sort of slicked down blonde mohawk, owner of one INCREDIBLE ass which is both huge and striated to buggery (lines for days/weeks/months/FUCKING YEARS!), would make an awesome future 212 class pro bodybuilder one day? Wait. Scrap that last one, because that very day has come!

Nicolas made his pro debut at the same show Milan won and FUCKING HELL! He looked absolutely INSANE! Just pound upon pound of THICK, shredded, brutal looking MASS bulging off his phenomenally chiselled physique in every imaginable direction. Crazy delts, alien quads, bonkers shaped abs (I count 9 and a half of them - anyone else get a different number?) all made an appearance on stage.

And I can not talk about Nicolas without giving mention to another particular aforementioned body part, and instructing you all to do exactly one thing; LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING GLUTES!  How the FRIG do those even belong to a human?! Shall we play a little game of "Let's Count The Lines In Nicolas' Bum"? On your marks, get set, go: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…FUCK THIS! We'll be here all bloody day. Freaky, beautiful and breathtaking. All at bloody once.

 







And lastly, a lad who's already had his feature on the blog recently (post here), but who has only bloody gone and stepped on stage AGAIN looking as big, bonkers and downright fucking brilliant as before. The pecs are still massive, the biceps are still brutal, and he's still got his geeky Clark Kent specs on! Which I still bloody LOVE. Along with that bonkers tan job which makes him look like he's been dunked in a big tank of fucking chocolate (unsurprisingly his mucked up trunks are PLASTERED in the stuff), the outrageously cheeky attitude on stage (check the YouTube vid for the proof), and pretty much everything bloody else! Apparently he's got another three shows coming up as well. Fucking hell Dani mate - I'm not sure we can take much more of this! Wait. What am I saying?! We so bloody can!!










 



Here's a short video of him pumping up his massive, bronze painted tits backstage...


And here he is indulging in what he clearly loves to do more than anything; strutting about on stage showing off his freakishly developed, gloriously tanned slabs of insanely awesome muscle mass, wearing nothing but his specs, a pair of tan wrecked trunks and a cheeky grin!



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